From Anonymous 3

I was a single parent. I had 2 children that lived with their father and came to visit on weekends, and I had one little girl 23 months old, who lived with me. She never had a father involved, but I gave her all the love of 2 parents and more. She is a very special little girl, closer to me than any child with any parent I have ever met. 2 times in her young life I had gone out with friends and left her with a sitter, and both times I was home in 2 hours because I would rather spend the time with her. when she was 2 weeks old, my landlord lost the house I was renting, so with a weeks notice I was out. We drifted after that, I had stayed with my mom, and rented a room from a friend. I finally found a nice stable environment for her when she was about 6 months. we lived there just after her first birthday we left one day to visit their grandparents, and about 3 hours later my house burned to the ground. I lost everything but what was in my car, and I was unemployed to boot. So we started over trying to find a place. The waiting lists for housing assistance were years long. so after a month or two, a friend offered me a room a few hours away, off we went. When I got there, I found out the house was not exactly livable. The hot water heater was broken there was no stove and no toilet. Off we went again. Luckily within a few days of heading back home, I received a job offer. It wasn't much but I took it. as soon as I started I lost all my state assistance as I was making too much. They didn't take into account at all that I was paying 170/wk for child support on my older 2 or that I paid 60 a week for childcare and 40 for a ride to and from work. all in all I was left with around 50 a week to buy food, pay my bills, and buy anything my little girl needed. I didn't receive child support for her. That is when the problems started. I was making so little that my bills all got behind. My gas was turned off, but since it was June, we didn't need it anyway. I had a crazy landlord, who made life very difficult. As a matter of fact, I came home one day with my little girl to find half of her kitten. I pulled her behind me to protect her and covered it quickly so I could dispose of it without her seeing. She looked all over for her "buddy" calling his name all over the apartment while I packed a bag for each of us. I told her buddy was gone and we had to go stay with grandma for a little while. I found a new apartment right away but it would be 3 weeks before I could move in. 2 weeks after the incident with the cat, I get a call from CPS telling me to meet them at the old apartment. I explained to her that I don't live there, even though some of my belongings are there. She said that that isn't important, and told me I needed to meet her there. Stupidly I went. They immediately removed her for "environmental neglect" citing the condition of the home. I again told them that I didn't live there, and that I was staying with my mom until my new place was ready. They literally ripped her from my arms and left. During the whole 18 months the case drug on, I was never offered any kind of program to address housing issues. I was forced into non confidential counseling, and parenting classes, even though neither of those things were cited as issues in the petition. a couple months after my daughter was in foster care, they gave her a psych eval which showed significant trauma and attachment issues. Even though she had been in foster care at this time, the issues they stated she had were pinned on me. I never saw any of the things they said about her. She didn't throw fits for me, she loved to be cuddled, she was the greatest toddler in the world. I had another child during this case, which they also removed from me and placed with his sister in foster care. My little girl turned 6 two weeks ago, the last time I saw her was her 3rd birthday. They quit letting me see her even before they terminated my rights. and I have not seen the rest of them since November of 2008. I miss them everyday and I want to fight for them,I just don't know how. I had a son in 2009 and they tried to remove him too. Thankfully I had moved to a different county and I won that battle. He is now a happy healthy 19 month old tornado. Next year I can try for reinstatement of parental rights, but everyone I have talked to told me it will be a waste of time and money. I worry that it will put my son who lives with me at risk. I am so torn. I wish someone could help me.