Legally Kidnapped

Shattering Your Child Welfare Delusions Since 2007

Monday, April 07, 2014

10 Highly Effective Tactics to Making Money During Child Abuse Propaganda Month

We all know that the System Sucks are in it for the money, but National Child Abuse Propaganda Month which is held every April, is a special time of the year for making even more.  During this month of excessively high System Suck activity, the System Sucks hold all kinds of events and fundraisers, tell lots of horror stories, blow the whole issue out of proportion and take total advantage of the easily influenced stupidity of the normal people.  

So without further adieu, let's look at a few of the ways that they have commoditized some of the nations most vulnerable children.

10. Ask for money...

And don't forget to throw in a great horror story when you do.  Remember, people base most of their decisions on emotion then justify it later through logic.  Therefore throwing in a few CPS created statistics, or a fresh from the headlines case along with a convincing story on why you're the ultimate solution to the problem is a great way to get people to part with their hard earned cash.
This Wednesday, April 9, is Arizona Gives Day. It's a challenge for all of us to donate money to Prevent Child Abuse Arizona resources. Don't wait for a legislative debate at the governmental level. This is people helping people. That means us. Call 445-5038 to help.
and be bold about it...
Support the “Promise to Protect” campaign – the CAC is asking the community to “promise to protect” local children with a contribution of $483.00 ($1/child abused in Tom Green County). This contribution will provide hope and healing to the children that have experienced abuse or neglect. In appreciation for your valuable support, you or your business will be featured on Facebook and receive a hand-delivered bouquet of blue pinwheels.
9.  Convince people that they're helping by suckering them in to work for free.
April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month - CASA needs volunteers, and of course they get grants to help their business grow.  
8. Offer a discount on a product sold through your website, such as a book about child abuse, in honor of National Child Abuse Propaganda Month. 
7.  Hold a road race and get people to collect pledges.
 CASA's fun run April 19 
 Exchange Happenings – April is Child Abuse Prevention Month
 Royalty Race to support Prevent Child Abuse Lake County
6. Hold a A Zumbathon Fundraiser!!!  (or whatever, just do something fun to bring out people who otherwise wouldn't get up off of their butts.)
(Unlike the Child Protective Industry, I never make any of this shit up.)

5. Have your business advertise support for child abuse prevention by offering 10% of your profits to the System Sucks, while getting a free write up in the newspaper for your efforts.
• Subway Day — Will take place all day April 15 at Subway locations in Manitowoc, Two Rivers and Mishicot. Ten percent of all daily sales will be donated to support CASA, a volunteer-based program that advocates for abused and neglected children in Manitowoc County.
4. Eat Drink and Gamble.
The fundraiser will feature a bountiful buffet throughout the evening including over-the-top hors d'oeuvres, carving stations, fish and pasta dishes and delectable desserts. There will be an open bar, casino-style play all night, and a silent auction and tricky tray.   
Tickets are $125 each and can be obtained by calling Chrystal Henion at 201-336-7520. Donations are also being accepted for the auction and tricky tray. Ads for the journal and sponsorships are available beginning at $25. Please call Chrystal for information.
3. Have a Bake Sale.
4,000 Desserts at "Cupcakes for Kids" to Help Raise Awareness
2. Invite people to go bowling....
Hampstead 'friend-raiser' brings out bowlers in support of Family and Children's Services
And the Number 1 way to make money during Child Abuse Propaganda Month.  Sell blue things such as Pinwheels and Ribbons and Kite Shaped Pin Up's...

Yes folks, the Child Protective Industry thrives off of symbolism.  The blue pinwheel, blue ribbon whatever is one of the most common symbols of Child Abuse Propaganda Month.

For example...
You can order a pinwheel garden in Utah for $100 bucks to show how willing you are to jump on the child abuse bandwagon. or Click Here for the Order Form
Or sell a pin up for a dollar.  Child abuse awareness fundraiser
Or sell blue ribbon cards.  April Child Abuse Prevention Month
Or sell a t-shirt.  Buy a GO Blue! T-shirt.
and don't forget to use the number of calls to the child abuse hotline rather than the number of confirmed cases of child abuse, you can make more that way.  
Volunteers tied 6,112 streaming, foot-long blue ribbons on two young trees on the North Kalamazoo Mall along the 100 block of Michigan Avenue in downtown Kalamazoo.  
Each ribbon represents a case of child abuse reported during 2013, said Karen Hayter, executive director of the Kalamazoo County Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Council.

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