Responding To A Comment from Cheryl

Cheryl left the following comment on the M4$ post.

I'm really curious, not trying to be snarky here. What are your suggestions for fixing the system? It needs a compete overhaul. Are you against fostering altogether, because that's the vibe I get? There are children abused in foster care, it's awful. There are also children abused by their birth parents. What do you suggest be done in those situations where parents are addicted to drugs, the kids are neglected, where there's sexual abuse? Those situations where the mom has child after child while on drugs?

Feel free to read this section with a bit of snark. What's your beef with MFM? I read her blog. She complains of many of the same injustices and failings in the system as you do. It looks to me like you two agree on more counts than not. I don't get the vibe that she's in it for the money or using the system for adopting children. I know of several blogs that state that outright; that they are only in fostering for adoption.

I guess I just don't get what this site is about. I would love to join a site that encourages change in the system. This site seems like a bunch of bitter name calling and finger pointing. I don't see anyone supporting that cause. People neeed a plan, strenth and diplomacy.

This is worthy of a response, as I've been trying to think up a way to address some of the issues raised here anyway. So I'm going to take it point by point, and give this person a serious and respectful answer.

So, without further adieu...

I'm really curious, not trying to be snarky here. What are your suggestions for fixing the system?

I honestly don't believe that the system can be fixed. It's beyond repair.

It needs a compete overhaul.

I agree. You gotta start by holding some of these criminals accountable for their actions or lack there of. You would have to have citizen oversight, and not just by the anti-abuse groups or system sucks like Children's Rights.

You would need people running the system who respect the rights of the family including the parents. You would need to start addressing some of the issues that parents raise. Issues such as lying CPS workers stealing children for trivial reasons and the judges who will rubber-stamp their signatures on practically every piece of paper that gets put in front of them by one. You would need to remove some of the financial incentives so that the System Sucks aren't viewing other peoples children as a meal ticket. Good luck with that.

Are you against fostering altogether, because that's the vibe I get?

This is a very common question I get, but it's also a trick question. And the simple answer is, I am not against fostering altogether. How could I be? I'm not really a bad person. I don't advocate for a parents right to abuse or neglect their child. I am rational enough to understand that some parents should not be or are not capable of raising their children. So I'll be the first to admit that there are times when foster care is necessary. I'll be the first to admit that there are times when foster care is the best possible option for a child.

Also if you were to rephrase your question to something like, "Are you against fostering altogether for every child (or even most of the children) who is now or has ever been in the system?" I would have to say that you are damn right, I am against that.

The labels such as "abuser" that are placed on parents are generic. There is a difference between a kid who gets a spanking and a kid who has been beaten to within an inch of his or her life. There is a difference between a kid who gets abused for no reason and a kid who gets a slap in the face for telling his mother to go and fuck herself. There is a difference between poverty and neglect. The system has lost sight of all of that.

The need for foster care, as portrayed by the mass media, is completely blown out of proportion. I know, for example, that there are thousands of capable grandparents (and other family members) out there who would love nothing more then the opportunity to raise the grandchildren who have been ripped away from them as well. So why is foster care or adoption so often chosen over them? Sometimes because they support their own kids as parents. They might sometimes disagree with the workers reasoning for taking them.

I also know that there are a lot of false accusations flying around against parents who are not so much abusive or neglectful, but more likely easy targets because they don't have the financial resources or the emotional strength to fight back against the god like social workers and profiteering system sucks who harbor so much power over their children because of a misrepresented, media created understanding of the issues. So they blindly support the industry because it makes them feel important.

What is really funny is how many of them simply change their views the minute they end up with a social worker crawling up their ass.

There are children abused in foster care, it's awful.

True.

There are also children abused by their birth parents. What do you suggest be done in those situations where parents are addicted to drugs, the kids are neglected, where there's sexual abuse? Those situations where the mom has child after child while on drugs?

In cases like that, you protect them. If that's what these people did, I wouldn't have a problem with them. Instead we have them stealing children for trivial reasons, not giving them back when it's the right thing to do and putting them into foster care when other family members are available and willing.

Feel free to read this section with a bit of snark. What's your beef with MFM?

I have no beef with M4$. I pick on foster parent blogs simply to show the type of people that they give our kids too. What better way to do that then to provide a few examples in their own words?

It's actually quite funny. There is a whole gaggle of these lemmings, all bitching about the kids and those pesky bio-parents. "Oh my God! What I have to put up with when warehousing other peoples children." They all follow each others blogs and every time one of them speaks, ten throw in their two cents, either agreeing with it all or trying to out do each other.

I read her blog. She complains of many of the same injustices and failings in the system as you do.

They all claim to. Yet at the end of the day, they are just as much stooges for the agencies as any other system suck.

It looks to me like you two agree on more counts than not.

I doubt that.

I don't get the vibe that she's in it for the money or using the system for adopting children. I know of several blogs that state that outright; that they are only in fostering for adoption.

We have those too.

I guess I just don't get what this site is about. I would love to join a site that encourages change in the system. This site seems like a bunch of bitter name calling and finger pointing. I don't see anyone supporting that cause. People neeed a plan, strenth and diplomacy.

This site is about spreading awareness, giving a voice to the voiceless and providing information. This site is about exposing lies, misunderstandings and the misguided pre-conceived notion that these people are hero's. I shed light on the truth and for that I'm the bad guy.

So many stupid people think that the system is a safety net for abused and neglected children. Well it's not. It's a mess. It causes psychological disorders in children, homelessness, and children are more likely to be abused. They drug them up to keep them quiet and happy. They bounce them around from home to home or throw them in group homes and institutions. Very rarely do any of them come out of it with their heads screwed on straight.

So if you want solutions, great! You are free to take any of the information I provide and think some up.

Let me just ask you this...

How are you going to know what the problems are that need to be solved? How are you going to identify the issues that need to be changed? Are you out there sticking up for the families who have been screwed by CPS? Are you speaking up for the children whose lives are destroyed because of an injustice?