Submitted by Lori

I am a Grandmother and a defendant being prosecuted in Muskegon County, MI for the crime of wanting to bring my grandchildren home. Although it is not a crime to ask for guardianship of your grandchildren the state will pay a prosecutor to take away the rights of grandparents and other family members keeping children in foster care and then adopting them out.

I have to ask myself, why is the government of the country I am citizen of and pay taxes to prosecuting me? I have committed no crime nor have I been accused of a crime.

I was given 3 reasons by DHS several months after the children were removed why they would not place them with me. 1. I was living in a 2 bedroom apartment and there were 4 children. 2. I was working part time and I would need to be working full time in order to support them. 3. Moving them out of state would interfere with reunification efforts. There was no mention of becoming a foster parent although I learned later that it was a requirement as well. I have done everything required of me. I moved to larger home to accommodate the children indeed I bought a 5 bedroom 3 bath home. I was able to secure full time a hours in the emergency room at the hospital that I am employed at as a registered nurse. The mother of the children has said she would like the children to live with me. I became a licensed foster care provider.

No efforts were ever made to place the children with me even though reasonable efforts are required to be made. However extraordinary efforts were made to keep the children from me. I was denied phone calls and visits with the children and gifts I sent the children were returned. When I was finally able to get phone calls the children expressed their desire to live with me they were yelled at by the case worker and later told me they were punished for saying that. The children were told terrible things about me and what would happen to them if they came to live with me. When I was able to get a visit I brought family photos which were torn from my grandson’s hands while he was crying no no they’re mine. It’s horrible to have to watch your grandchildren be treated in this manner by those who are supposed to be protecting them but are really violating them.

I have in my hand the closing argument from the prosecuting attorney it is filled with lies and misrepresentations. There is evidence and testimony submitted that proves these statements are lies yet he has no qualms about submitting these lies to the court in a written argument.

Whatever you think of foster care and adoption, keep in mind that it should be about finding a home for a child who needs one rather than about finding a child for a family that wants one. When those two situations coincide, adoption is a wonderful option. But when an existing family is torn apart needlessly in order to create an adoptive family, it’s cruel.

May is the month foster care is celebrated. While you’re celebrating and recruiting foster families be sure to look at the statistics on terminations, reunifications and adoptions. Also look at the statistics of children who have been abused and died while in care and keep in mind how many loving family members such as myself are being prosecuted and denied access to their own family. Think of the children who have been traumatized by their removal when many could have remained with their families given a minimal amount of help. Think of the children who are not being adopted and are left in care until they age out of the system, whom have grown up with no permanent home and moreover with proof in their minds that no one wants them or loves them. Much of the burden on the foster care system could be lifted if they would just try to help parents and allow children to be placed with family.