Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Wow, It's not only parents who have a problem with these baby-stealers
I was personally involved in one case where the Department of Human Services removed a child from its mother’s care. What I saw appalled me. DHS claimed that if the mother passed a lie detector test, she would have her child back. She passed, but did not get the child back. She was told that if she passed a second lie detector test, she would get her child back. She passed, but did not get her child back. She was told that if she took parenting classes, she would get her child back. She did so, and did not get her child back.
When I went to graduate school in counseling at the University in Orono, I thought my attitude toward DHS would make me an outsider among the many mental health workers who were upgrading their education. Not so. Almost every one of them had a story at least as appalling as mine. The trouble is, no one could name names because of confidentiality.
In addition, I have heard of many mental health people who were afraid of speaking out because they were concerned about their careers. Also, I have heard of several who were threatened by DHS that their own children might be taken from them if they spoke out against DHS.
There are no checks on the power of DHS to take children from their parents. This needs to change. In addition, the financial incentive for DHS to remove children from their families needs to be changed, so that the incentive is to keep the children with their parents or with close relatives.
When I went to graduate school in counseling at the University in Orono, I thought my attitude toward DHS would make me an outsider among the many mental health workers who were upgrading their education. Not so. Almost every one of them had a story at least as appalling as mine. The trouble is, no one could name names because of confidentiality.
In addition, I have heard of many mental health people who were afraid of speaking out because they were concerned about their careers. Also, I have heard of several who were threatened by DHS that their own children might be taken from them if they spoke out against DHS.
There are no checks on the power of DHS to take children from their parents. This needs to change. In addition, the financial incentive for DHS to remove children from their families needs to be changed, so that the incentive is to keep the children with their parents or with close relatives.
I have fought a long and painful battle with this system. And found that the authority intrusted to the individuals who govern it has made many of them inhuman.
The very name, Family & Children Services, is a lie. Instead of using their power, money and resources to EDUCATE and SERVE, this system uses its power to dictate, humiliate, and emotionally scar children and their families. That name gives them the right to legally kidnap our youth and hold them captive. And do to our children the very things and then some which we were accused of doing. But we are labeled unfit parents for these things.
The very name, Family & Children Services, is a lie. Instead of using their power, money and resources to EDUCATE and SERVE, this system uses its power to dictate, humiliate, and emotionally scar children and their families. That name gives them the right to legally kidnap our youth and hold them captive. And do to our children the very things and then some which we were accused of doing. But we are labeled unfit parents for these things.
Would you want your kids calling a stranger mommy?
At Foster Care Reveiw Board Meeting, everyone said it is appropriate for them to call her Mama nad him Daddy and that is who they spend their time with (other Foster Care Givers have dis-agreed).
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I think this is intentional
We are supposed to be involved in the medical care of the children and yet they are not informing us of Dr. visits or are scheduling them after 3p.m. when I am at work or not informing me of the visits until the day before or the day of. (I could get someone to cover for me at work if I had a weeks notice at least!) Supervisor says court order just says to inform of the visits and for me to be there, not what time to set them for.
One of the Foster Homes abused one of my children. All the Foster Kids in the home at the time were moved, even the one that had been there 2 1/2 years. The one they were adopting however, got to stay. And this man has so abused his grandchildren that they are not allowed to visit, shaking and throwing them against walls!
One of my children and her Foster Mom found out and reported this abuse after a
child to child visit, they were "fussed" at the hips and now the children are
not allowed to visit each other even against CASA and GAL advice.
One of my children and her Foster Mom found out and reported this abuse after a
child to child visit, they were "fussed" at the hips and now the children are
not allowed to visit each other even against CASA and GAL advice.
Cherish Every Minute You Get With Your Kids
the Foster Parent slipped and told me that they are planning to cut our visit short tomorrow using her 4:30 appt as an excuse, and if the visit ends at 1:30 as it is supposed to, she can still be to her appt in plenty of time. Last week they cut it 15 minutes short.
The state has not even looked into family placement. There is documentation showing that the children have been emontinally, mentally and physically abused while in the
care of the state. Many counslors,Casa, and a physiologist have stated that the
children should be returned to their parents, But the judge over looks all of these reports.
care of the state. Many counslors,Casa, and a physiologist have stated that the
children should be returned to their parents, But the judge over looks all of these reports.
My 2yo is calling the Foster Mother "Mama" and My 13yo went off about that. She told them that that woman did not carry that child for 9 months, be induced into a long and hard labor and on & on.
The 9yo's RCM told her she was out of line that the child spent all day with that lady and did not know that she was not her mama! At this point I told her that child did know who her Mama was and that it was inapprpriate for the woman to allow the child to call her Mama. She should be told no, my name is Ms.*&^%($#*.
The 9yo's RCM told her she was out of line that the child spent all day with that lady and did not know that she was not her mama! At this point I told her that child did know who her Mama was and that it was inapprpriate for the woman to allow the child to call her Mama. She should be told no, my name is Ms.*&^%($#*.
Foster Parent Sentenced in Molesting
Foster Parent Sentenced in Molesting
The Associated Press
Feb. 9, 2000
ANDERSON, Ind. (AP) - A foster parent who prevented a girl in his care from being adopted by a gay man was sentenced Wednesday to 40 years in prison for molesting the girl.
Earl ``Butch'' Kimmerling pleaded guilty last month to four counts of molesting his foster daughter, now 9. He and his wife, Saundra, fought in 1998 to keep the girl from being adopted by Craig Peterson - a gay man who had adopted the little girl's three brothers.
At his sentencing, Kimmerling tearfully apologized for molesting the girl and pleaded for leniency. He could have received up to 50 years in prison.
Prosecutors had argued for a harsh sentence. ``It's hypocrisy at its highest level. He holds himself out to be a person of God, as a representative of the Christian community, and at the same time engaging in outrageous behavior,'' prosecutor Rodney Cummings said.
During their adoption fight, the Kimmerlings gained support from various Indiana political figures, including Anderson Mayor Mark Lawler and a Republican state representative who unsuccessfully tried to ban gay adoptions.
The Kimmerlings eventually succeeded in adopting the girl, but Kimmerling was arrested and charged with molesting her after Saundra Kimmerling notified police.
The girl remained in Saundra Kimmerling's care.
AP-NY-02-09-00 1915EST
The Associated Press
Feb. 9, 2000
ANDERSON, Ind. (AP) - A foster parent who prevented a girl in his care from being adopted by a gay man was sentenced Wednesday to 40 years in prison for molesting the girl.
Earl ``Butch'' Kimmerling pleaded guilty last month to four counts of molesting his foster daughter, now 9. He and his wife, Saundra, fought in 1998 to keep the girl from being adopted by Craig Peterson - a gay man who had adopted the little girl's three brothers.
At his sentencing, Kimmerling tearfully apologized for molesting the girl and pleaded for leniency. He could have received up to 50 years in prison.
Prosecutors had argued for a harsh sentence. ``It's hypocrisy at its highest level. He holds himself out to be a person of God, as a representative of the Christian community, and at the same time engaging in outrageous behavior,'' prosecutor Rodney Cummings said.
During their adoption fight, the Kimmerlings gained support from various Indiana political figures, including Anderson Mayor Mark Lawler and a Republican state representative who unsuccessfully tried to ban gay adoptions.
The Kimmerlings eventually succeeded in adopting the girl, but Kimmerling was arrested and charged with molesting her after Saundra Kimmerling notified police.
The girl remained in Saundra Kimmerling's care.
AP-NY-02-09-00 1915EST
One small way CPS abuse can be hindered is by every State having a Foster Care Review Board, Independent of any State Agencies. It's panel being citizens who hear from all parties and summarize a report to its findings on all aspects of any child in care. We are looking to form one in WV at this time. It will not cure the problems, but it will create some accountability to the un-regulated state workers who get away with any thing they want, at this time. I do believe a Review Board is a great starting point to change.
Child Support For Foster Children
She assessed Child Support. Could have been $185 weekly but DCS interuppted and stated that they would take less. $75 per week.
Well, they refused us an attorney. The DCS atty went so far as to suggest we sell our vehicles, furniture, etc. to pay for an atty. At least one of the DCS workers was pretty much appalled as DCS requires you to have a form of transportation(if all it is is access to public transport that is okay, but they considere that a strenght of our family.) We have to have beds and the kids need dressers and this was in direct was insinuated to be sold. He asked if we had ever heard of Goodwill to buy replacement furniture!
Loss of Food Stamps can mean the Loss of Much More
This from TN
Code 71-3-154
(B) Whenever temporary assistance for a family is terminated for any reason other than the family's successful transition to economic self-sufficiency, the department of human services shall promptly so notify the department of health. Upon receiving such notification, the department of health shall take appropriate actions to monitor and protect the safety and well-being of the children within such family. Such departmental actions shall include, but not necessarily be limited to, one or more in-home visits with such children within thirty (30) days of the termination of such temporary assistance. Such in-home visits shall be performed by a nurse, medical
social worker or other health professional. In appropriate cases, the department of health shall make a referral to the department of children's services.
Code 71-3-154
(B) Whenever temporary assistance for a family is terminated for any reason other than the family's successful transition to economic self-sufficiency, the department of human services shall promptly so notify the department of health. Upon receiving such notification, the department of health shall take appropriate actions to monitor and protect the safety and well-being of the children within such family. Such departmental actions shall include, but not necessarily be limited to, one or more in-home visits with such children within thirty (30) days of the termination of such temporary assistance. Such in-home visits shall be performed by a nurse, medical
social worker or other health professional. In appropriate cases, the department of health shall make a referral to the department of children's services.
Babies Murdered in Foster Care
D.C. government attorneys never agreed to a plan to take 23-month-old Brianna Blackmond out of foster care and return her to her mother's home, Mayor Anthony A. Williams said yesterday, angrily expressing frustration with the court-ordered secrecy that has surrounded the slain toddler's case.
As reported in the Washington Post February 9th 2000.
As reported in the Washington Post February 9th 2000.
Change begins with each of us. We must first refuse to be silenced. To be brave and stand up to the system and its corruption. I was fortunate, my family is back together... we were left with the job of picking up the pieces... which continues to this day. Things will never be the same. However, that is a positive thing as well.
I learned more about the "enemy" than most people should ever need to learn. But, we will NEVER go through this again. That I do KNOW to be true. I am wiser. I know who I am dealing with. Before I was naive and believed in the "system". Now, I don't trust it as far as I can throw it. I did not declare war on the system. They declared
war on me.
I learned more about the "enemy" than most people should ever need to learn. But, we will NEVER go through this again. That I do KNOW to be true. I am wiser. I know who I am dealing with. Before I was naive and believed in the "system". Now, I don't trust it as far as I can throw it. I did not declare war on the system. They declared
war on me.
You Go Mom!
I also refuse to hide and be terrorized by my own government. In fact, as a tax payer, they are using my OWN dollars to persecute me!
They picked the wrong mommy to mess with. Thanks to their court ordered psych evals, I now know that I have an IQ which puts me in the genius range, I know that my values and priorities are as they should be and I know that despite what they would have me believe, I am not crazy.
I am, however, devious, vindictive and according to some people a "ball busting bi**c from he**. I won't shut up, I have nothing more to loose. They took my family and I will fight to the death if that's what it takes to bring my family home and to stop the Gestapo tactics used to terrorize innocent parents and to destroy innocent children's lives.
I believe that families are meant to be nurtured, protected and Loved, not played with like some lunatic's Lego set, put together then smashed apart on a whim. I believe in the Constitution of the United States and my rights as an American citizen.
At first I was scared, now I'm just angry. Angry to the depths of my being. It's not a good way to feel, but it serves the purpose of keeping me going every day, of not giving up and of keeping my eyes on the goal of bringing my family home and NEVER having another family go through this.
I have declared my own personal war on a system gone mad and allowed to continue destroying every innocent family it comes into contact with while allowing truly abusive parents to torture and kill their children.
It has to stop. We can make it stop if we come together and work together as a team. We need to set some solid goals (media coverage, legislative involvement, rallies and protests nationwide) then work together to make them happen.
If you all could share your knowledge and teach those of us who are relatively new; If we all start to act together, we could accomplish great changes.
Isn't that what we want? To be treated fairly? To have the right to a fair and just investigation? To have our Constitutional rights respected? To not have our children stolen away in the middle of the night or taken from school with no warning and
no cause? To not be lied to, threatened, manipulated and treated like monsters? Let's take to the streets, let's organize. That's the one power we have that they are afraid of. One or two voices crying out comes out as a whisper. Hundreds or
thousands of voices create a roar which cannot be ignored.
They picked the wrong mommy to mess with. Thanks to their court ordered psych evals, I now know that I have an IQ which puts me in the genius range, I know that my values and priorities are as they should be and I know that despite what they would have me believe, I am not crazy.
I am, however, devious, vindictive and according to some people a "ball busting bi**c from he**. I won't shut up, I have nothing more to loose. They took my family and I will fight to the death if that's what it takes to bring my family home and to stop the Gestapo tactics used to terrorize innocent parents and to destroy innocent children's lives.
I believe that families are meant to be nurtured, protected and Loved, not played with like some lunatic's Lego set, put together then smashed apart on a whim. I believe in the Constitution of the United States and my rights as an American citizen.
At first I was scared, now I'm just angry. Angry to the depths of my being. It's not a good way to feel, but it serves the purpose of keeping me going every day, of not giving up and of keeping my eyes on the goal of bringing my family home and NEVER having another family go through this.
I have declared my own personal war on a system gone mad and allowed to continue destroying every innocent family it comes into contact with while allowing truly abusive parents to torture and kill their children.
It has to stop. We can make it stop if we come together and work together as a team. We need to set some solid goals (media coverage, legislative involvement, rallies and protests nationwide) then work together to make them happen.
If you all could share your knowledge and teach those of us who are relatively new; If we all start to act together, we could accomplish great changes.
Isn't that what we want? To be treated fairly? To have the right to a fair and just investigation? To have our Constitutional rights respected? To not have our children stolen away in the middle of the night or taken from school with no warning and
no cause? To not be lied to, threatened, manipulated and treated like monsters? Let's take to the streets, let's organize. That's the one power we have that they are afraid of. One or two voices crying out comes out as a whisper. Hundreds or
thousands of voices create a roar which cannot be ignored.
We were able to convince CPS that the report was false, but they told us that in order to do anything about it, we had to 'prove' that it was malicious. I am to the point that anytime my daughter even scrapes her knee, I am afraid to send her to school. She has already missed 16 days of school, about half due to my paranoia.
I got a call from the SW at 9 p.m. saying that her supervisor said if I can be there at 9:30-10 a.m. tomorrow I can visit all the children for 4 hours. They are planning on only letting us visit for 4 hours once a month.
This will have to the birthday celebration for the 5yo as she will be 6 on
Tuesday.
This will have to the birthday celebration for the 5yo as she will be 6 on
Tuesday.
*If you have kids or are in public school, I urge you to read this all the way through. Every bit of it is the Truth.*
Where do you start if you wanting total control of the minds, bodies and souls of a country? You start with the children.
How do you perform this systematic brainwashing of the children? You first have to start by getting full control of the schools. You have to be able to force the use of your materials, your methods and your value system. Teachers must be indoctrinated in college and enrolled into a strong socialist organization to keep them straight.
The teachers are convinced that top educators and the centralized government know what's best for your children. To handle teachers not indoctrinated, you need to punish those who would rebel, first by controlling their funding and then by passing laws which force them to use your "system".
Next, you make sure that the parents are happy with what you are doing.
HOW? What do you tell the parents? You announce a revolutionary new approach to teaching. You tell the parents that you are going to make dramatic improvements. You use positive, flowery words to put the proper "spin" on what you are doing.
You then tell the parents that this approach will help the children be more tolerant and understanding of others. The chidren will be taught social skills such as conflict resolution, self esteem, etc..
Where do you start if you wanting total control of the minds, bodies and souls of a country? You start with the children.
How do you perform this systematic brainwashing of the children? You first have to start by getting full control of the schools. You have to be able to force the use of your materials, your methods and your value system. Teachers must be indoctrinated in college and enrolled into a strong socialist organization to keep them straight.
The teachers are convinced that top educators and the centralized government know what's best for your children. To handle teachers not indoctrinated, you need to punish those who would rebel, first by controlling their funding and then by passing laws which force them to use your "system".
Next, you make sure that the parents are happy with what you are doing.
HOW? What do you tell the parents? You announce a revolutionary new approach to teaching. You tell the parents that you are going to make dramatic improvements. You use positive, flowery words to put the proper "spin" on what you are doing.
You then tell the parents that this approach will help the children be more tolerant and understanding of others. The chidren will be taught social skills such as conflict resolution, self esteem, etc..
This is an attack on the family, where the government is taking children away from loving parents with no evidence or basis for doing so. We shouldn't live in a country where the government takes people's children first, then asks questions and sorts out details later.
No one should intervene or interfere in a family until they have evidence that there is some immediate danger to the child, not just somebody's theory.
No one should intervene or interfere in a family until they have evidence that there is some immediate danger to the child, not just somebody's theory.
When parents use CPS to fight their battles then it becomes an issue.
How often have families been ripped apart by angry boyfriends/girlfriends..ex spouses who use the anonymous hotline numbers to gain an advantage in court.
Ironically, the FAMILY court is not only where the CPS cases take place, but
the divorces as well. The guardian ad litems all come from the same pool of
attorneys. The same CASA workers, Foster Grannies -- all the usual suspects
are in the same court room. Once you're in there, it's not important who
brought you there, CPS has people sitting back waatching in Family court,
taking notes so that they can come check you out later--even if you're just
there for a divorce.
How often have families been ripped apart by angry boyfriends/girlfriends..ex spouses who use the anonymous hotline numbers to gain an advantage in court.
Ironically, the FAMILY court is not only where the CPS cases take place, but
the divorces as well. The guardian ad litems all come from the same pool of
attorneys. The same CASA workers, Foster Grannies -- all the usual suspects
are in the same court room. Once you're in there, it's not important who
brought you there, CPS has people sitting back waatching in Family court,
taking notes so that they can come check you out later--even if you're just
there for a divorce.
Good Advice
Things To Do When Dealing With Child Abuse Allegations
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
a.. HAVE A WITNESS PRESENT when orally communicating with CPS.
b.. TAPE RECORD ALL CONVERSATIONS, should you have to communicate with
CPS without a witness present
c.. ALWAYS SEND WRITTEN MATERIALS "CERTIFIED, RETURN RECEIPT REQUESTED,
should you be required to forward a letter or other information to CPS.
d.. KEEP ALL YOUR DOCUMENTATION IN AN ORGANIZED FASHION.
e.. DEVELOP AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE LAW, especially those laws relating to governmental intervention and similarly related sections oft the Family Code.
f.. BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOUR ATTORNEY.
g.. KEEP A DETAILED DAILY DIARY.
h.. REVIEW YOUR CHILDREN'S SCHOOL AND MEDICAL RECORDS.
i.. REQUEST A HOME VISIT ONLY, if you are very familiar with how to handle these types of matters or you have someone else qualified, preferably your attorney, with you.
j.. REQUEST A DEPARTMENTAL REVIEW should you feel a complain is justified for the way CPS is proceeding with your case, or you are in need of a clarification of the status of your matter.
k.. REQUEST AN ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW. Again, make the request in writing and forward it by certified mail, return receipt request.
l.. ATTEND THE EX PARTE HEARING, AS WELL AS ALL OTHER HEARINGS if CPS has taken possesion of your child without a court order under emergency procedures set out in the law.
m.. HAVE CPS DISMISSED FROM THE ACTION, if at all posssible.
n.. ALWAYS DRESS AND ACT APPROPRIATELY when you are in the courtroom.
o.. FIND A QUALIFIED ATTORNEY who is very knowledgeable in these types of cases
p.. TRY TO CARRY ON A NORMAL ROUTINE while your case is going on.
Things Not TO Do When Dealing With Child Abuse Allegations
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
a.. DO NOT EVER MAKE AN INTENTIONALY FALSE REPORT OF CHILD ABUSE against anyone
b.. DO NOT USE CERTAIN WORDS AND PHRASES, when communicating with CPS whether or not such communication is oral or written.
c.. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING without reading all of the fine print and having a complete understanding of all consequences which may result from your signature.
d.. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED, especially if you are required to go to CPS's offices because they have taken possession of your child.
e.. DO NOT VOLUNTEER TOO MUCH INFORMATION, but be courteous, listen carefully, and wait for the appropriate time to tell your side of the story.
f.. DO NOT DISCUSS THE INVESTIGATION OR LEGAL PROCEEDINGS in front of your children or with anyone else except your attorney.
g.. DO NOT PERMIT CPS TO OVERSTEP THEIR AUTHORITY OR VIOLATE ANY LAWS without at least notifying them of their actions in writing.
h.. DO NOT DESTROY OR DISCARD ANY LEGAL INFORMATION OR OTHER DOCUMENTATION.
i.. DO NOT ARGUE WITH OR THREATEN ANY INVESTIGATOR OR PERSON MAKING A REPORT WITH PHYSICAL ABUSE.
j.. DO NOT INTENTOINAL HINDER, MISLEAD, OR RESTRICT THE INVESTIGATION.
k.. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OR EMBARRASSED bout being accused of child abuse if the allegations are false.
l.. DO NOT SMOKE, USE DRUGS, OR DRINK ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES while being interviewed by the investigator.
m.. DO NOT "THROW IN THE TOWEL".
n.. DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING CPS TELLS YOU.
o.. DO NOT TRY AND HANDLE A CHILD ABUSE OR NEGLECT ACTION PRO SE.
p.. DO NOT WEAR A "BLACK HAT", always wear a "white hat".
q.. DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ALONE.
r.. DO NOT THINK YOUR CHILD WILL NOT SAY SOMETHING NEGATIVE to an investigator.
s.. DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR RECORD HAS BEEN CLEARED OF THE CHARGES - EVEN IF YOU HAVE just because you receive a closing letter from Cildren's Protective Serveces or a favorable court order closing your case.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
a.. HAVE A WITNESS PRESENT when orally communicating with CPS.
b.. TAPE RECORD ALL CONVERSATIONS, should you have to communicate with
CPS without a witness present
c.. ALWAYS SEND WRITTEN MATERIALS "CERTIFIED, RETURN RECEIPT REQUESTED,
should you be required to forward a letter or other information to CPS.
d.. KEEP ALL YOUR DOCUMENTATION IN AN ORGANIZED FASHION.
e.. DEVELOP AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE LAW, especially those laws relating to governmental intervention and similarly related sections oft the Family Code.
f.. BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOUR ATTORNEY.
g.. KEEP A DETAILED DAILY DIARY.
h.. REVIEW YOUR CHILDREN'S SCHOOL AND MEDICAL RECORDS.
i.. REQUEST A HOME VISIT ONLY, if you are very familiar with how to handle these types of matters or you have someone else qualified, preferably your attorney, with you.
j.. REQUEST A DEPARTMENTAL REVIEW should you feel a complain is justified for the way CPS is proceeding with your case, or you are in need of a clarification of the status of your matter.
k.. REQUEST AN ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW. Again, make the request in writing and forward it by certified mail, return receipt request.
l.. ATTEND THE EX PARTE HEARING, AS WELL AS ALL OTHER HEARINGS if CPS has taken possesion of your child without a court order under emergency procedures set out in the law.
m.. HAVE CPS DISMISSED FROM THE ACTION, if at all posssible.
n.. ALWAYS DRESS AND ACT APPROPRIATELY when you are in the courtroom.
o.. FIND A QUALIFIED ATTORNEY who is very knowledgeable in these types of cases
p.. TRY TO CARRY ON A NORMAL ROUTINE while your case is going on.
Things Not TO Do When Dealing With Child Abuse Allegations
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
a.. DO NOT EVER MAKE AN INTENTIONALY FALSE REPORT OF CHILD ABUSE against anyone
b.. DO NOT USE CERTAIN WORDS AND PHRASES, when communicating with CPS whether or not such communication is oral or written.
c.. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING without reading all of the fine print and having a complete understanding of all consequences which may result from your signature.
d.. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED, especially if you are required to go to CPS's offices because they have taken possession of your child.
e.. DO NOT VOLUNTEER TOO MUCH INFORMATION, but be courteous, listen carefully, and wait for the appropriate time to tell your side of the story.
f.. DO NOT DISCUSS THE INVESTIGATION OR LEGAL PROCEEDINGS in front of your children or with anyone else except your attorney.
g.. DO NOT PERMIT CPS TO OVERSTEP THEIR AUTHORITY OR VIOLATE ANY LAWS without at least notifying them of their actions in writing.
h.. DO NOT DESTROY OR DISCARD ANY LEGAL INFORMATION OR OTHER DOCUMENTATION.
i.. DO NOT ARGUE WITH OR THREATEN ANY INVESTIGATOR OR PERSON MAKING A REPORT WITH PHYSICAL ABUSE.
j.. DO NOT INTENTOINAL HINDER, MISLEAD, OR RESTRICT THE INVESTIGATION.
k.. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OR EMBARRASSED bout being accused of child abuse if the allegations are false.
l.. DO NOT SMOKE, USE DRUGS, OR DRINK ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES while being interviewed by the investigator.
m.. DO NOT "THROW IN THE TOWEL".
n.. DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING CPS TELLS YOU.
o.. DO NOT TRY AND HANDLE A CHILD ABUSE OR NEGLECT ACTION PRO SE.
p.. DO NOT WEAR A "BLACK HAT", always wear a "white hat".
q.. DO NOT THINK YOU ARE ALONE.
r.. DO NOT THINK YOUR CHILD WILL NOT SAY SOMETHING NEGATIVE to an investigator.
s.. DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR RECORD HAS BEEN CLEARED OF THE CHARGES - EVEN IF YOU HAVE just because you receive a closing letter from Cildren's Protective Serveces or a favorable court order closing your case.
I despise child abuse and always have. To be falsely accused of it was something I never imagined coming into the most joyous and secure time of my life.
I will always be angry and I will always be bitter.
It makes me wonder where a little boy or girl died unnoticed while CPS was building their big case against me.
Sad if you think about it.
I will always be angry and I will always be bitter.
It makes me wonder where a little boy or girl died unnoticed while CPS was building their big case against me.
Sad if you think about it.
My mom has NO rights to my
children... she don't have any say in how I raise them, or anything else...
However, if the state says I can not have them, then she would be my FIRST
choice to raise them... Mainly because she knows my children better than
anyone outside of me, and she would take good care of them.
So, the state should NOT do what they did when they took my kids... they stole her rights and put them in 2 foster homes without ever considering placing them with
her!
children... she don't have any say in how I raise them, or anything else...
However, if the state says I can not have them, then she would be my FIRST
choice to raise them... Mainly because she knows my children better than
anyone outside of me, and she would take good care of them.
So, the state should NOT do what they did when they took my kids... they stole her rights and put them in 2 foster homes without ever considering placing them with
her!
A Mom Complains
I have had numerous visits from CPS, but THANK GOD,
have had no second visits! They have come out for annonimus reports from mad
neighbors, mentally incompitent do-gooders, and flat out crazy people. Yet,
this same system will not remove children that ARE being abused and
neglected. It seems that they are so worried about hear say and not worried
about facts.....that goes either way.
I was a mandated reporter, yet CPS would not remove 11 children from
delapidated conditions and an infestation of lice to boot and serious drug
problems on the part of 4 adults.
This is the same agency that is all over me for having breakfast dishes in
my sink at 10 AM?
If nothing else, it showed that I'd fed my children bacon, eggs, and toast
for breakfast!
This other situation......there were no dishes in the sink because they
didn't own any and there was rarely food in the house dispite there being a
combined $1000+ of food stamps coming into the house every month.
It seems that the parents that should be held accountable aren't....and the
parents that did nothing wrong are hung. on the grounds of gossip or mean
spiritednees.
have had no second visits! They have come out for annonimus reports from mad
neighbors, mentally incompitent do-gooders, and flat out crazy people. Yet,
this same system will not remove children that ARE being abused and
neglected. It seems that they are so worried about hear say and not worried
about facts.....that goes either way.
I was a mandated reporter, yet CPS would not remove 11 children from
delapidated conditions and an infestation of lice to boot and serious drug
problems on the part of 4 adults.
This is the same agency that is all over me for having breakfast dishes in
my sink at 10 AM?
If nothing else, it showed that I'd fed my children bacon, eggs, and toast
for breakfast!
This other situation......there were no dishes in the sink because they
didn't own any and there was rarely food in the house dispite there being a
combined $1000+ of food stamps coming into the house every month.
It seems that the parents that should be held accountable aren't....and the
parents that did nothing wrong are hung. on the grounds of gossip or mean
spiritednees.
Responsibility
I think it starts by making Social Workers responsible for their actions... Its easy
for someone to take away kids due to false allegations based on anonynmity,
but, if that Social Worker would get into trouble for backing someone up who is
lying... they wouldn't be anonymous for long... because *&(*^ rolls
downhill... :)
for someone to take away kids due to false allegations based on anonynmity,
but, if that Social Worker would get into trouble for backing someone up who is
lying... they wouldn't be anonymous for long... because *&(*^ rolls
downhill... :)
Blowing thing out of proportion
right now everything they do they justify it. I can see how they
can justify drinking water as a form of neglect (was it bottled? was the
glass clean???)...
can justify drinking water as a form of neglect (was it bottled? was the
glass clean???)...
A question from a victem.
I was wondering what we needed to do to rid the world of the anonymous
reporters?
If a Child Protective Worker shows up out of the blue and accuses you of abusing and/or neglecting your child, and you have no clue, have done nothing to instigate this visit, and even the worker doesn't know who reported you. You have probably been victimized by an Anonymous Reporter.
Unfortunately, they allow this practice.
reporters?
If a Child Protective Worker shows up out of the blue and accuses you of abusing and/or neglecting your child, and you have no clue, have done nothing to instigate this visit, and even the worker doesn't know who reported you. You have probably been victimized by an Anonymous Reporter.
Unfortunately, they allow this practice.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Understanding Foster Children
Understanding Foster Children
By Saundra L. Washington
Foster children are a band of exiles; like the children of Israel, they are banished from everything they were familiar with and placed in an environment that is as strange as a foreign land. They enter into a strange home, are introduced to strange people, must sleep in strange beds, and are escorted around to strange places. With so much of what was once known to them being supplanted by the unknown, foster children, in a very real sense, find themselves aliens in a strange land. And so, they too ask, How can we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land? How can we adapt to our new way of life? How are we to behave when our pain of loss is so excruciating? How can we sing the Lord's song?
It is not easy for foster children to adjust to a different way of life—away from everyone and everything they had known. It is extremely stressful and traumatic. When a child is removed from literally all they know and understand and have come to accept as “their world” and placed in a totally strange environment, it is only natural for them to grieve the loss of their family, their friends, their siblings, their pets, their toys and everything else they were familiar with.
So is it any wonder then that it is initially difficult for foster children to form attachments to new caregivers until they have at least been allowed time to grieve their many losses. Grief for children is the disruption of a bond, and in any foster care situation, significant bonds have been disrupted or severed.
I agree with Friedman who points out in his book, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal With Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, that “even the phrase ‘foster child’ implies several losses, making the very foundation of the child’s experience one based on grief. It is impossible to be a foster child and not experience grief.”
We must also realize that even if the foster child has contact with their biological parents, they still experience significant grief and feelings of abandonment and betrayal. Many attitudes about children and loss are myths. Children react differently to loss and separation than adults but that does not mean they do not feel the losses as strongly or for as long a time as adults. Often losses occur before children have the necessary skills to put into words what their hearts are feeling. Children do not understand loss in the way that adults do but that does not mean that they are less affected by the changes that have turned their life upside down.
Even infants grieve that someone is missing from their tiny worlds. Many psychologists believe that babies attach rapidly to the primary caregiver and there is no question the baby notices that something is not right when the primary caregiver is no longer there. The baby will most likely protest the loss by crying more than usual, sleeping more or less than before, eating patterns may change, and so forth.
I strongly encourage all committed foster parents to be diligent in acquiring the essential tools necessary to help children through the grieving process. Take advantage of every opportunity to increase your parenting skills as it relates to grieving children.
Of course, one of the most potent ways you can help a grieving child is to be a constant source of support.
For me, the gift of my foster mother’s unwavering understanding, support and “healing presence” was lifesaving. She was always there with comforting words of reassurance, genuineness and love. Sometimes she just sat and rocked me as she hummed soothing, comforting tunes with intermittent, “you are going to be fine baby girl, don’t you worry now; momma’s love is “going to” get you thorough this, don’t you worry now…..” Even today, whenever I am experiencing difficulties in my life, I can still hear momma’s melodious voice echoing those encouraging and strength augmenting words.
You have an open invitation to visit us at AMEN Ministries: Your Soul's Service Station for reviewing spiritual services being offered, obtain spiritual refreshing and soul edification, get your daily dose of humor, and to visit our prayer sanctum for quiet time with God.
Blessings to all!
Saundra
By Saundra L. Washington
Foster children are a band of exiles; like the children of Israel, they are banished from everything they were familiar with and placed in an environment that is as strange as a foreign land. They enter into a strange home, are introduced to strange people, must sleep in strange beds, and are escorted around to strange places. With so much of what was once known to them being supplanted by the unknown, foster children, in a very real sense, find themselves aliens in a strange land. And so, they too ask, How can we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land? How can we adapt to our new way of life? How are we to behave when our pain of loss is so excruciating? How can we sing the Lord's song?
It is not easy for foster children to adjust to a different way of life—away from everyone and everything they had known. It is extremely stressful and traumatic. When a child is removed from literally all they know and understand and have come to accept as “their world” and placed in a totally strange environment, it is only natural for them to grieve the loss of their family, their friends, their siblings, their pets, their toys and everything else they were familiar with.
So is it any wonder then that it is initially difficult for foster children to form attachments to new caregivers until they have at least been allowed time to grieve their many losses. Grief for children is the disruption of a bond, and in any foster care situation, significant bonds have been disrupted or severed.
I agree with Friedman who points out in his book, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal With Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, that “even the phrase ‘foster child’ implies several losses, making the very foundation of the child’s experience one based on grief. It is impossible to be a foster child and not experience grief.”
We must also realize that even if the foster child has contact with their biological parents, they still experience significant grief and feelings of abandonment and betrayal. Many attitudes about children and loss are myths. Children react differently to loss and separation than adults but that does not mean they do not feel the losses as strongly or for as long a time as adults. Often losses occur before children have the necessary skills to put into words what their hearts are feeling. Children do not understand loss in the way that adults do but that does not mean that they are less affected by the changes that have turned their life upside down.
Even infants grieve that someone is missing from their tiny worlds. Many psychologists believe that babies attach rapidly to the primary caregiver and there is no question the baby notices that something is not right when the primary caregiver is no longer there. The baby will most likely protest the loss by crying more than usual, sleeping more or less than before, eating patterns may change, and so forth.
I strongly encourage all committed foster parents to be diligent in acquiring the essential tools necessary to help children through the grieving process. Take advantage of every opportunity to increase your parenting skills as it relates to grieving children.
Of course, one of the most potent ways you can help a grieving child is to be a constant source of support.
For me, the gift of my foster mother’s unwavering understanding, support and “healing presence” was lifesaving. She was always there with comforting words of reassurance, genuineness and love. Sometimes she just sat and rocked me as she hummed soothing, comforting tunes with intermittent, “you are going to be fine baby girl, don’t you worry now; momma’s love is “going to” get you thorough this, don’t you worry now…..” Even today, whenever I am experiencing difficulties in my life, I can still hear momma’s melodious voice echoing those encouraging and strength augmenting words.
You have an open invitation to visit us at AMEN Ministries: Your Soul's Service Station for reviewing spiritual services being offered, obtain spiritual refreshing and soul edification, get your daily dose of humor, and to visit our prayer sanctum for quiet time with God.
Blessings to all!
Saundra
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)