An email I recieved from a parent / former foster child

Hello

I came across your blog today and was very interested.

I was in foster care from 13-21 and it was hellish to say the least.

I became a single mother and faced a lot of scrutiny and harassment by child welfare. I successfully fought them off for 4 years, until I fell on hard times.

At my weakest point, I was sexually assaulted and temporarily homeless - I requested a 30 day temporary agreement so that I could gain the resources I needed. It turned into an all out war.

I was accused of child abuse in every shape and form, made out to be a transient drug addicted mental mother. And because I was an ex crown ward, they had more biased info about my youth.

The foster parent involved basically interfered in the case and was given one of my daughters to adopt. My older child was returned to me and the case was closed.

I had a legal aid assigned lawyer during the case - who essentially did very little. She did not tell me my rights. I was told to co-operate fully. And the policy here in Ontario is that you can’t switch lawyers on legal aid.

There was intense pressure and coercion on the part of the foster parent and birth father. I was also verbally promised an open adoption, since I knew the foster parent and her address, and I would know where she went. The visits were cancelled and I was told to take it up with the foster parent. She lives in another province which made that next to impossible.

I complained to the CAS themselves, the law society of Upper Canada and the Ontario ombudsman. All basically said there was nothing to be done. Because they are self regulated and follow government standards, and hide behind the confidentiality - you can’t even go public with your story. You can be jailed for talking about your case. So basically without a substantial amount of money for lawyers, I haven’t been able to fight back.

It has been 7 years since this happened. and I can tell you that I haven’t recovered. I’ve done a lot of advocacy on poverty and homelessness, sat on various boards of directors and helped organize a rally to reform the legislation. I’ve done media and I’ve written a book. As a survivor and victim of this sick system, I've tried to use my anger for good.

If I had it my way, I would like to sue them in civil court and i want at the very least contact with my child. She is now 8 yrs old.

Continually I am promised a letter or photos and then it is never followed through. At some points I am threatened and at other times they are nice. I gave up on getting her back. The most I hope for now is some sort of contact.

I have tried my best to raise my older child and move on despite this grief. We have no had no child welfare involvement since this case. Losing my child affected us both, I will never understand how they say this was "my choice" and in the best interests of the children.

I am starting to see more and more that I am not alone. That I was a good mother and acted in their best interests. My heart needs justice now.

Thanks for listening. I’ve added your blog link to mine.

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It's one of those experiences that if you haven’t been through it or touched by it - you might never have known how truly horrifying it is. I mean sure people hear these stats and headlines, but because of the confidentiality shield, you never really fully know.

There were so many kids and teens I lived with thru out the system. They essentially warehoused us and collected their money. If we could be labeled special needs in any way. They would collect a substantial amount more.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones, in that I wasn’t totally stripped of my humanity. I experienced strip searches and restraints that sort of thing. But beyond being neglected by the foster parents and social workers - I never had to deal with full on abuse. What I witnessed though has stayed with me for life.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones, in that I wasn’t totally stripped of my humanity. I experienced strip searches and restraints that sort of thing but beyond being neglected by the foster parents and social workers - I never had to deal with full on abuse. What I witnessed though has stayed with me for life.

I used to think that I was alone. But because of the internet more and more stories are coming to light. They think they rescued my younger daughter. I think I rescued my older daughter. Funny huh?

Erika *****