His child support was sporadic,whatever he wanted to contribute, if at all. When my daughter was 7 I met a single father whose boy was the same age as my daughter. There was so much chemistry between the 4 of us. We ended up getting married. Our marriage created much jealousy on the part of my daughter's father. So even though he was with another woman who financially "took care of him" he still considered me AS HIS OWN. He started uch trouble when I married and tried to breakup my husband and I, which created much stress.
The big problem began when I flew my daughter into Las Vegas to visit with her father. I would return the following week, pick her up, and myself, my daughter, my husband and my step son were all going to take a trip to Bangkok, Thailand. My daughter was very excited about this trip, much more excited than being at her father's for a visit. Her father became furious with me that my daughter was looking more forward to going to Bankgkok with my husband and I , than her visit with him. He started telling me he would do everything within his power to have my daughter taken away from me, "EVEN IF I HAVE TO MARRY SABRINAH".(Sabrinah being the woman he lived with, who supported him, and who,was childless and not able to conceive the baby she longed for.
A week later when I called my daughter to tell her I was picking her up, her father told me "Chariese is not going with you. You are not going to get her back You will have to take me to court." Very upset, but thinking his threats were just another ploy to break up my new husband and I, we went on the trip because all travel arrangements had been made and we couldn't cancel. Needless to say, the trip was not enjoyable for any of us. Upon returning to the U.S. , I called the Father's house, and he informed me he was not returning my daughter Chariese. I would have to take him to court.
I myself filed a complaint with the Sacramento County D.A.s office, and started court proceedings to have my daughter returned to me. About 5 weeks after the showdown with my daughters father, a Sacramento District Attorney's investigator and a Sacramento County sheriff deputy, court orders in hand,flew to Las Vegas to retrieve my daughter. My daughter was attending school at the same school where her father's girlfriend taught school. Upon landing back in Sacramento the sheriff depute took me aside and said "Your daughter appears to be brainwashed. Saying over and over again she did not want to be with her mother, etc." Two days after Chariese's return to Me, her mother, I received a call from Mary Barryman, from the Sacramento County child protective services who stated she had just taken my daughter and my step son out of their class, and questioned them about child abuse and neglect charges that had been made against my husband and I .
I assumed it was either my daughter's father, or his (now newly wedded wife whom he had married the day Chariese was returned to me by the D.A. investigator). Ms. Barryman informed me that after questioning both my daughter and her step brother, that she found the allegations of abuse and neglect to be false. My daughter's father and his new wife were now fighting for full custody of my daughter in the upcoming court custody date of March 6. During the hearing, the judge gave temporary physical custody to the father because of the Child Protective Services report. He said a court appointed mediator would make the determination as to what was in the C.P.S. report. I would still have shared legal custody over my daughter. The court mediator, a local psychologist, charged $500 a session. Sabrinah, my daughter's new stepmother, piped in that she would pay for the court mediator.
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(continuation of story). I also want to mention the fatal flaw on my part that turned the tide completely against me. I was naive and innocent of court procedures. My friends all urged me to hire a family law lawyer. I simply did not understand the court system. My reasoning was, I was her mother, I raised my daughter on my own, I had done nothing wrong. Why did I need a lawyer? It was thisfatal flaw that turned the tides. I discovered that if you don't have a lawyer to protect your interests, you have just handed the case over to the other party. No one listens to you when you don't have a lawyer. Meetings between the judge and other side attorney go on without you. Anyway, the court mediator turned to my daughter's father during our joint session, and stated that since the allegations inside the C.P.S. report were false, Chariese would be returned to her mother. This reinforced a false sense of security inside me, that I had made the correct decision." See, I didn't need to hire a lawyer after all. I had done nothing wrong, and my daughter would be returned to me. Only the C.P.S. report never showed up at any of the court hearing, where I showed up without a lawyer, once again. Over the summer I tried in vain to get in touch with my daughter. The house phone at her father's house was plugged into the FAX machine. I sent Faxes, sent my child letters, cards and gifts in the mail . None were acknowledged. I finally hired a lawyer. You get what you pay for. This guy was very inexpensive compared to the other highly recommended by friends family law lawyers. My lawyer , through the father's lawyer, made sure the phone was now unattached to the FAX machine. Only now, no one ever anwered the phone the phone at the other end. With each new hearing, I lost more and more custody rights with my daughter. Six months had passed without any contact with my child. No acknowledgement on her end. The final custody hearing in September, I showed my (cheapo)lawyer documented communications on how I had tried to contact my dayghter, including flying to Las Vegas, approaching the house, and no one ever answering the door, nor returning my phone calls at the hotel I was staying. My lawyer patted me on the arm and said:"Just put that information away for right now." 1/2 hour after the hearing, I was told by my lawyer that the court had determined I had abandoned my daughter. THat there had been no contact with her in 6 months and the only way I could see her would be with court supervised visitation. Any phone calls, or written letters would be monitored. I was floored. I was devastated. It was my daughters 9 th birthday and one of my sisters had called the Las Vegas house. This phone call would take place one month prior to the final September court hearing where Iwas charged with child abandonment. The now step mother answered the phone. My sister stated she was calling Chariese to wish her a happy birthday, to tell Chariese her mother and her mother's family loved her, they were thinking of her, etc. Sabrinah informed my sister that no one in Chariese's mother's family would ever see Chariese again. That she was no longer considered a part of our family, we were to forget she ever existed. And also, don't ever call again. Click. Mysister was also stunned and hurt. She couldn't even imagine what I was going through. In a daze, I signed papers consenting to the supervised visitation. It was up to be to make the appointment dates. And tried I did. Each time I called to make an appointment, I was informed of one excuse or another as to why the appointment could not be made. One lame excuse was that it was Christmas time and the Wetzlers (my daughter's last name and father and now step mother) had out of town guests and couldn't take time out for me to visit. Needless to say, my marriage fell apart, my entire life disenigrated. My emotions collapsed. The woman who could not have her own child, now had my beloved daughter as her . Itried for years to get in touch with my child. For 5 more years I sent more gifts, letters cards. They were never acknowledged. Trips tothe Las Vegas house met with the same response. No one answered the door. No one returned phone calls. I was financially destitute. My father had given me as much money as he could for the inept lawyer I had hired. There was no more. I had a complete breakdown, and literally disappeared off the face of the earth from family, friends. 14 years would pass before I was "found" by an Orange County, Ca sheriff's deputy, and told I was on a missing persons list. My family was searching for me. These two, my daughter's father, and his wife, had not stoppedtrying tonsteal morefrom me. For the past three years they had been trying to claim an inheritance left to me by my now deceased father, in my daughter's name. My family fought their continual petitions to have me declared legally dead. Fortunately they found me in time. I would eventually be reunited with my now 24 year old daughter, almost 16 years after her father refused to let me to take her on a trip to Thailand. My daughter has so much bitter anamosity toward me, that I had abandoned her. She is very psychologically and emotionally traumatized from having all connections with her mother and her mother's family severed a decade and a half ago. She blames me. She blames my family, Her "wonderful" step mother had even placed my daughter on her own family tree. She had completely taken over my role as mother. The problem in my child custody case, was not necessarily Child Protective Services. The CPS social worker told me that the allegations of abuse and neglect were false. My problem was my naivity in thinking I didn't hire a lawyer to protect my rights. By the time I hired , the cheapest one I could find, he proved himself to be inept, ineffective, and maybe even "on the take". The C.P.S. report that was to return my daughter to me, disappeared and never showed up in the court system. The domineering step mother who could not have her own baby, had completely taken over my daughter as her own. Two lives have been nearly desatroyed by "the system" Both my daughter and I are victims. her more so than me. She was just a sweet innocent 8 1/2 year old caught up in a web of deception.
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