But I did something late last night. And I need to share in hopes of I don't know what. I'm not expecting you all to understand what I feel right now.
With all of these stories coming out about parents finding their kids on Facebook, late last night I put this theory to the test.
Sure enough, I found my two sons. I haven't seen them or had any word about them since 1996.
I haven't contacted them yet, but there is no mistake. I fully intend to. Now that they're over 18, there isn't a fucking thing that their mother can do about it. And I'm assuming that they're victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome, as they were turned against me at a very young age by a very vindictive ex wife who learned very quickly how to manipulate the system.
I just gotta figure out what to say. I mean, honestly
I'm only human, you know.
Here are a couple pictures from one of the last times I saw them.
So what do you say to a kid who you haven't seen in 14 years? Who probably doesn't remember you. Who has heard god only knows what.
Such is my life people.
Love
LK
Here's a story I read on a father's group, names long forgotten.
ReplyDeleteA dad was kicked out of his daughter's life at an early age, and he did not see her until she visited him in her late teens. She spit on him. The dad, treating her like an adult, demanded that she sit down for a talk, and he spent an hour explaining how he had been driven out of her life. Their relationship improved gradually over the next few years. A decade later the daughter got married. Dad was invited to the wedding. Mom was not.
we are in the same situation with our Grandkids.... So so sad what the system can do and get away with. Now My daughters ex has the kids for the last two months they are 3 and 4 he is alienating our side of the family. We are all they have ever know and the system took them from my daughter because her and her children are victims of domestic violance and her son had a fractured skull from her ex boyfriend as she didn't know what had happend to her son but within 7 min of her noticing something was wrong with her son after her ex boyfriend brought him downstairs to her she called 911. They say she failed to protect? They lived with me and my husband(grandparents) for a year under CPS and now they have given them to her ex husband whom they have only lived with when the kids were little. A year of my granddaughters life and 3 months of my grandsons life. To top it off the 4 year old isn't even his and they seem to not even care. How do these people getaway with this. My daughter gets to see them or 1 hr a week and she didn't do anything to harm them. She even got her ex boyfriend to admit he hurt her son by befriending him like the police told her to do and they recorded the converstation while he admitted it. They arrested him and he is behind bars since Jan 29th 2010 and he is to start pre trial on June 10th, 2010. My daugher doesn't have a record is an upstanding citizen and she has never layed a hand on her children. She loves them with all of her heart and it just seems like CPS and the Corrupt Bias Judges can do what ever they want.Please can someone tell me how and why they can get away with kidnapping our babies and nobody will do a thing about it.
ReplyDeletePerhaps-
ReplyDelete"Hi. I am your father. I would like to be your friend.
~By the way~
There may be some things you have wondered about through the years that might want to know.
Feel free to ask."
Let me know what you come up with LK - I'll probably need to say the same thing to my children in about 8 years
ReplyDeleteIf they play Mafia Wars on Facebook the only message you'll need to send is "MW" I'm sure that you can send similar messages if they play Farmville or Treasure Isle. If you play those Zynga games you need friends, and it doesn't matter how much they may dislike you. Be prepared to play the game for quite sometime before trying to chat with them.
ReplyDeleteLK,
ReplyDeleteIt's been awhile since I've been here on your blog.
Congrats on finding your sons!!!
I know how difficult it is to talk about personal life on a blog.
I have always been shy, guarded, and private so I HATED opening up and sharing my life with so many unknown people. But I did, and even though it took years, it paid off.
I found myself in a similar situation last year. After a 10 year search, I finally located my 2 sons.
I didn't make contact right away, either. I was frightened to death of what to say!
I felt guilty for waiting, since I'd been searching for so long.
I don't think that family and friends understood why I didn't make contact right away.
But I just needed time to digest things.
When I finally did make contact
I figured the best way for me to handle the first conversations was to keep it real.
I didn't offer out any info on the past, but instead waited for questions, which I answered as honest as I could.
(even the questions I'd have rather lied about!)
I made it a point to not say anything negative about 'dad.'
I didn't want to push for a face to face meeting immediately. Again, I don't think family and friends understood my fears and hesitation or the million 'what if's' that ran through my head.
Skype was VERY helpful in getting to know my older son. It's great for voice/cam/chat...and it's free.
My older son and I spent the first few months just meeting on Skype.
When we ran out of things to talk about, we shared music links, funny web pages, jokes...whatever.
It was another way of getting to know each other.
It took a few months before I gathered enough courage to ask to meet.
It's an entire different story with my younger son, and I'd rather not share at this time.
We do talk, and he's come to visit with me, but the years of alienation have taken their toll, and I think it will be time before we are able to build a good solid relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel guilty for taking your time...after all even though you missed out on a lot of years, you have a lot of years to come!
I wish you the best of luck!
and if you want to talk some of this stuff, I'm around.
I am in the process of starting a group ~Located~ Now What?
Due to the nature of discussion it will be a private group. But I think it's important to start getting parents who are in the process of reunification together, for somewhere to turn, and to share how things are going.
Take care,
mammabear
mammabear89@yahoo.com
GOOD WORK LK!! I was faced with a similar situation myself about a half of a year ago, except my situation and “why” we were apart was quiet different I am sure. I guess the best thing you could do is to tell them that you always hoped that someday, someway, you would meet up again.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
RJP
GOOD WORK LK!! I was faced with a similar situation myself about a half of a year ago, except my situation and “why” we were apart was quiet different I am sure. I guess the best thing you could do is to tell them that you always hoped that someday, someway, you would meet up again.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
RJP