Anonymous left a comment on this post regarding FosterAbba and Little Cinderella. I am re-posting it here so that nobody misses it.
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Anonymous said...
they blame that child for everything to make themselves look better. I had foster parents like that once. They made up stupid stuff like I didnt know what gifts were because i unwrapped them cleanly or that I didnt know what soap was because I asked which one i was supposed to use , and they said I broke stuff , you know like my bed - just by sitting on it. They always said i was purposely doing something wrong so they could clain every sympathy card they were thrown.
I called teh worker when they sold gifts a previous foster family had gotten me and kept the proceeds. I was happy to go back to the rtc and their abuse and maltreatment.
I refused to ever go back to a foster family so I stayed in an RTC and I was a better person for it , I am sure a rtc is better than an abusive family by far.
They sat on teh girl and take restraint lightly. If she strikes out because she is being threatened with restraint , or they get hurt because they initiate restraint on her first. They deserve what they get , and yes you CAN dislocate an arm by jerking and pulling and put it back without NEEDING medical attention. It was done to me in that fashion. MANY TIMES.
Just because you are a parent or a foster parent dosnt give you the right to manhandle a child everytime it does not fufill your requests or DEMANDS. They are people not slaves meant to carry out you commands at whim.
the way they treat this girl is just WRONG. They do not treat her as a daughter , so much as a FOSTER CHILD , as if the title makes her less human.
It IS Sick.
The "Orphanage" where my grandson was placed at six years old reported he couldn't speak a full sentence. I can just imagine what else they lied about.
ReplyDeleteI've been following this blog and the Navigating the Maze blog for a while now, though I've never commented on either.
ReplyDeleteA little about me: I've adopted two developmentally delayed, meth-affected sisters through DSHS. The older one was removed from the home due to abuse issues, and the younger one was placed with me after her birth. The parents in this case chose to relinquish rather than access any services. Sometimes, parents don't WANT their kids back, and I think that's a fact that's overlooked by many. Outside of the open adoption agreements (which, let's face it, don't carry any sort of weight when it comes to enforcement), I remain in constant contact with the birth parents, and my door is always open to them for visits - an arrangement they have taken me up on many times. Our birth parents have expressed that they love their daughters, but aren't interested in raising them, and are happy with the adoption and their ability to be involved at whatever level they choose.
That being said, I'm a letter-writing fool for DSHS reform, and I recognize the corruption that takes place in our state's Department (Washington). Prior to the finalization of the girls' adoptions, I made complaints about things like completely fabricated home visit reports (written by social workers who had never set foot in my house, even!), falsified records, and more. Even though many of these criminal acts by social workers favored me, I still wouldn't stand for fraudulent records in my children's files, and I complained - LOUDLY and PERSISTENTLY. I was told by a supervisor that the fraudulent reports would be removed from the file and "go away." I asked if I could have copies, and was denied. The supervisor essentially told me she was going to destroy the evidence.
The social worker who broke the law still has her job, by the way. Sickening.
About Danielle, though... I feel for the adoptive parents, but also feel that they knew what they were getting into before the adoption.
I've taken the time to read the Navigating blog back to the beginning, and it's clear that Danielle's anger issues were apparent before the adoption - so much so that one of the adoptive parents had serious reservations about going through with the adoption. It almost seems to me that she conceded to make her partner happy.
I knew, before adopting my girls, that they were drug-affected and developmentally delayed. I knew the older one had trauma issues stemming from abuse. I didn't find this out, by the way, from the state. According to the state, these were healthy, typically-developing children with no problems, developmentally, health-wise, or anything.
My point is, I signed up for this adoption knowing what I was getting. The girls were placed with me for an extended time before the adoption (3.5 years, in violation of the state's own rules), and I spent that time advocating for services for their health and developmental issues. I appeared in court for the adoption, knowing full well what I signing up for.
And so did Danielle's parents.
I'd love to see more of a focus on Danielle's therapy and successes than the bemoaning of "we have a kid who's out of control" that I read more and more often on the blog.
If there was any sense that the parents weren't up to the challenge of raising a trauma-affected child with anger and violence issues, they should not have adopted. I know the one parent expressed serious reservations and concerns prior to the adoption.
I'm not going to speculate on what's best for Danielle. I only know that she deserves to have strong parents who love her unconditionally and will advocate for her.
I admire the way that FosterEema and FosterAbba took on Danielle's educational delays. I hope they will take the same position in addressing Danielle's emotional issues.