Response to a comment

I feel the need to respond to a comment left on this post.
----
Nutjob says...
"I have to say< I think you are for some reason completely biased on the topic of foster parents. Yes, there are many draw backs, however foster parents also take in children who without them might be a in group home or an otherwise bad situation. Sometimes parents really need to have their kids taken.(drug addicts, abusers, etc.) Also, with the option of adoption(which by the way isn't as easy as you make it sound) it is easier for families to interact and from a bond with the child before the child is thrust upon them.

Something tells me your kids or someone in your family has had bad experiences with the foster care system. But I beg of you not to try and discourage good people from helping a child, because those are in fact, the only people you will reach."
----
If society wasn't completely ignorant of the reality of this issue, there would be no need for this blog. I do not want to discourage good people from helping children and I do not advocate for a parents right to abuse or neglect a child in any way.

You have no idea how painful it is to do a blog like this. I have cried many times. I have had nightmares. I would love for nothing more then to be able to just shut it down. I hate doing it. The only thing that prevents me from shutting it down is the reality of the system. It does not work. It doesn't work for the children and it doesn't work for the parents. The only ones it works for is those who profit from it in whatever way, the foster parents, the doctors, the lawyers, the social workers, the Guardian Ad Litems, the drug companies, the adoption agencies. Anyone who can possibly make a buck off the system does. That's the reality.

You know what pisses me off the most about this blog? The fact that I have so much to work with.

Kids in the system go through hell. They are bounced around from home to home, they are abused by strangers, they loose all sense of love, stability, security, roots, family ties. Some are stuck in group homes because of a lack of good foster homes. Others are stuck in group homes because they have been severely damaged to the point of being unable to function in a family environment. Sure some of this is due to the experiences of abuse they've had in their homes, but much more of it is due to their experience in foster care. Kids are drugged up so heavily that many of them don't even have a clue as to their reality. On top of that they are lied to. I'll even bet that a lot of these peoples greatest fear is that the children themselves will find out about the truth. Then they are put out on their own at the age of 18, with little or nothing in terms of the social, family and financial support that they so desperately need.

Then you have System Sucks like Lanette from Adoption Blogs, and many others who routinely demonize and dehumanize what they call bio-parents while praising a system that dopes kids up and passes them around like puppies and considers themselves hero's for doing it. I'm sorry that she has struck a nerve with me. Had they not edited my comments for truth, and told so many lies themselves. I wouldn't be picking on her today. This is an adoption agency who profits from this system.

I am well aware that there are good people out there who want to help children; this blog is not against them. This blog is an attempt at a voice for the children and parents who have been victimized by these "Good" people. I am well aware that there are bad parents out there who should have no right to care for a child. But I've discussed this issue with a lot of people. I've heard from grandmothers who have done nothing wrong, but have been told that they can have no contact with their grandchildren who they love very much. I've spoken with mothers who have been abused by their husbands only to have their kids snagged by the system as punishment. I've spoken with parents who have been falsely accused of abuse, alienated from their children, been proven innocent in court and still not given their kids back. I've spoke with parents who have spent thousands on lawyers who have been cut off from legal aid because their life's savings has dried up. I've heard of people having to sell their homes just to pay these legal fees. I've spoken with young mothers who were easy targets because they couldn't afford to fight for their children. And why is it like this? Because the states get money for each kid in the system. They are rewarded with thousands of dollars from an Adoption Bonus from the federal government for each kid adopted from the system. That's a powerful incentive from these sick bastards who we trust to protect our children, wouldn't you think?

So if this blog prevents a good person from becoming involved then I'm sorry. If people weren't so blindly ignorant about this issue, and if the states weren't hiding behind their confidentiality laws, covering their tracks by keeping thousands of these stories out of the news, I wouldn't feel the need to enlighten them. Believe me when I say it happens a lot more then the newspapers will ever let on.

But thanks for your comment anyway.