Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Foster Care - How To Destroy A Family
Because of the format I have chosen for this blog, I don't use many of my own words. But the time has come. I take issue with this.
It's been a while since I last mentioned it but I continue to follow this particular blog. http://foster-care.adoptionblogs.com/ I consider it an extreme example of the dangerous mentality that makes up the current Child Protective and Foster Care system. It is both a facination and revulsion thing with me.
They don't like me. In fact clicking on that link will give you an error message that acuses me of being a known spammer. I don't spam anybody. It is easiest to copy and paste the link into your browser. Her blog irritated me a few times, so I let her know. She didn't like it, so I have been banned from commenting and my arguements have been edited for content. It is clear that they only want to allow certain types into their community. Nobody who oposes their opinions or anything, which was all I did. These are people with an agenda. They want your children. Anybody who calls them on that will be prevented from even linking to them.
This blogger has written a lot about adopting through foster care. Which I wouldn't have a problem with except for the fact that many foster parents who do have adoption agenda's will try to undermind the system in an effort to avoid letting go of a child whose REAL parents have been working their butts off to regain custody.
When the foster parents fall in love with the child, they bash the real parents for their past actions, "How could those horrible bio-parnets (as they are called) do such a terrible thing to such a sweet innocent child?" They refuse to see a family in crisis who needs help. They refuse to see that people can make mistakes. They refuse to see that people can get better. They refuse to see the real parents as human beings and instead demonize them. They work to strengthen their own bonds and destroy the bonds with the real parents. They claim that they're the only family the child has ever known. They claim that returning the child to their real families will be harmful because it will be like putting the child in with Strangers. Remember one of the most famous cases of this, the He's, for example, who fought for years to get their kid back? http://www.jacksonville.com/apnews/stories/122807/D8TQL9BO0.shtml It happens all the time.
This blogger has even written about bonding with foster children while taking a shot at the real parents. She has written about when it is and when it's not appropriate to mention ones interest in adopting a child who one is fostering. It's almost preditorial if you ask me.
Then she writes this particular post.
Why is it Taking So Long for a Placement? -The Answer
To a normal person this may appear rational, but to me I get a sense that she's talking about looking for that special child to take in. Not a child in need of a safe place to stay, the so called reason for foster care, but just looking for that special child to call their own. If it is a boy, send him someplace else. If it is a girl over age five, send her someplace else. If the kid has issues, which most foster children do, then send them someplace else. If they have brothers or sisters, send them someplace else, or even better, "I'll take one of them." How these people can seperate siblings who have been removed from their families and consider themselves hero's for doing it is beyond me.
This is why I have a problem with it. If the only reason people are going to get into foster parenting is as a path to adoption, then the term babystealer fits you perfectly. Many of these children have real families who love them and many of them don't. Many of the parents who loose their children just need help. Many of them wake up and straighten out their lives when CPS gets involved, and many of them just need to be taught better ways. Sure there are some people who shouldn't be parents, there are some who don't deserve their children, but if they started to recognize the ones who do work to make things better, maybe they wouldn't have to lower their standards for foster parents just to keep up with the numbers.
Wake up people.
LK
FYI...alot of parents do NOT wake up when CPS gets involved. Some families have foster children in the care for years (from birth) and then the bio-parents (yes thats what they are) decide that they are ready to care for there child. To me...its to late. So now that lil child is being literally ripped from the only family they know. This has never happened to me...but I know of several people who it has. So unless you yourself have been a foster parent having a child that you have cared for and loved taken away from you...just because the bio-parents decided oh this week I care. THEn you need to stop blogging!
ReplyDeleteThis person obviously misses my point.
ReplyDeleteI took a peek at the website and i have to agree with your blog post.
ReplyDeleteFrom the outset,foster parents have already formed opinions about the natural parents.These opinions are always negative.
They mention about parents not attending court ordered services and attending appt's.do they realize how time consuming these appts really are?
When I was subjected to all the testing and parenting classes I was forced to quit my full time job that actually offered free day care.why?because they had me booked in so many places my boss didnt understand.had i chose to keep my job, i wouldve missed the appt's.
im sick and tired of foster parents playing social workers,of foster parents alienating parents in order to steal our children.
just because CPS accused us of something,doesnt make it true.half the kids that comeinto those homes probably dont even need to be there.