An 8-year-old girl taken from an American couple and returned to her Chinese parents after a seven-year custody fight faces another big adjustment - moving to China.
Anna Mae He is a victim of our Judicial System and a victim of her irresponsible birth parents also. This child will forever endure severe emotional harm which has been administered by the hands of our Judicial System and her birth parents. Children are not merchandise which you can put on Layaway like merchandise in a retail store and if and when birth parent decides they want to pick up their merchandise they are allowed to do so with blessings from our Judicial System is WRONG, just because they gave birth or were the sperm donor does not make them a mother or father. They simply just want to be in control, have no heart and absolutely do not love the child. If you are a parent and raise your child, there when they are sick, change their diapers, feed, nurture and Love them then you are the parent, but if you don’t, then the person who has done all these things for a long period of time has become the psychological parent to the child, if the child is in a loving, secure environment then they need to leave the child alone. The He's put their selves first, Mr He wanted to go to school to benefit him and did not care about his child or her needs as to having a parent, and he was selfish and irresponsible and wanted what he could get for free. The Bakers took the child,loved her and raised her as their own for many years and then the Judicial System ripped out the heart of the child, the caregivers and removed her from the only home which she had ever known. Our Judicial System needs to wake up and see what is happening to our children, our future leaders and put a stop to Layaway Kids! Children should be protected, not the irresponsible parent, sperm donor or just plain selfish individuals such as the He’s. If you want your child then raise your child and do not give your child to someone else to raise, do not abandon, neglect or be irresponsible for your own wishes, gain or selfishness, if you do this then you are not the parent, the individual who has stepped up to the plate,bonded with the child as the psychologicle parent is the parent! Wake up America and realize there are 6.5 million children in the U.S. being raised by relatives and 157,000 in TN. which are known, does this not tell us something? Put a stop to Layaway Kids they don't deserve it, they are not merchandise! They have hearts, souls and feelings just as we adults do! What is this world coming to when animals have more rights than our precious, helpless, abused and neglected children!
The emotional harm would not be nearly as severe had the parents rights to their child have been respected by the courts in the first place. She would have been with the foster parents for a short time. There are also cultural differences here and language barriers to consider. This case has been going on for a long time. The birth parents, trusting the system with an understanding that this would be just until they were able to care for the child, those involved got them to sign papers that they couldn't read and didn't understand because of language barriers. In other words, the system and the foster parents tried to screw them out of their daughter.
I have to disagree with you on the issues here.#1-If the He's had wanted their child they would not have put her in Foster Care to begin with,I have had bad times in my life but I would never give up my child just because the child needed insurance or because I wanted to go to school and ignore my responsabilities as a parent for selfish gain,or because I wanted all I could get for FREE, as the He's did.So what you are saying is if you want to go to school,take advantage of someone or something then you can be a irresponsible parent and give your child to someone else to raise,is that correct?As far as the cultural and Language differences as an excuse,which is all it is,was Mr He not going to school here?How did he go to school if he did not understand our language?Another Excuse!Are you in favor of Layaway Children for irresponsible,selfish,neglectful parents!As I have always said if you raise your child then you should be protected by the 14th Amendment ,but if you don't then the child's rights should be protected.
The judge obviously felt differently. It's not only the child that has rights. The child has a right to be safe from abuse or neglect. If the parents are capable of providing a healthy and safe environment for their child, they should have the right to do so. I am a firm believer in that. Parents are being screwed left and right in this country, and the states are just in the very beginning stages of realization of the damage they have caused.
It is also not uncommon for foster parents with an adoption agenda to try to thwart the reunification efforts of biological families, throwing in technicality's such as bonding, it's the only family the child knows, etc. In this case, the foster parents fought them all the way from the day they were ready to take their child back. If anything harmed the child, it was them and the system which kept her away from her real parents for so long when they were willing to care for her. Just dragging it out is harmful to the child, and should not go in favor of the foster parents.
And there was a communication error somewhere along the line in this case. I would never suggest that the He's did the right thing by giving her up, although they just did need a little time to get on their feet. Just that they weren't aware of what they were doing. Had they understood the consequences of what they were doing, signing, whatever, perhaps things would have come out differently. I don't know. I make no personal judgement against them in any way.
The problem is Children have no rights,animals are protected more than children.To what extent do you think a parent has the right to leave their children with a Grandparent,Aunt,Uncle,Cousin,Neighbor or etc.For several years with no support and sometimes no visits for months,they are in the party stage,irresponsible,selfish or just plain do not care,then when the child is 6,7,9,etc.or the parent needs a state check or housing so they come and take the child out of the only home he or she has ever known,tell me how that is fair to the child or caregiver and does that child have any rights to stay with the only person that the child knows who has Loved,Nurtured,Supported,was the only one there when he/or she was sick,when they were hungry the caregiver was the only one there to feed them,keep a roof over the childs head,keep them safe.Why would you consider this person not to have any rights just because they didn't give birth to the child!It seems to me if someone else had to do all the things a parent is supposed to do and the Bio parent did not ,then the person who stepped up to the plate should be recognized as having some rights in our Court Systems.I know their are parents out there who are truly getting shafted by CPS,the Judicial system,Etc.But there are also parents out there who are shafting themselves by only thinking of themselves and one day they decide they want to play mommie or daddy and don't care that years have past and the child does not want to leave their Loving,Secure home or their psychological parent,but just because they are the Bio parent they can do whatever they want because they gave birth is wrong!As I said if you raise your child then God Bless you ,but if you don't and someone else steps up to do all the parental duties for the child,then that person should have rights in our court systems.Anyone can give birth or be a sperm donor ,but not just anyone can be a real Daddy or Mommie.
fed up said: The problem is Children have no rights,animals are protected more than children.
That I agree with. The foster care system is in a sorry state. These kids are robbed of their real families. Most are bounced around from home to home, heavily medicated and are more likely to be abused in foster care then in their own homes.
I also don't think that it was a good idea for the parents to give her up. I think it was a bad idea. In this country there are other options, and help is available. Had the He's known that, they might have made a better decision. I don't think that they are bad for doing what they did, but it was an irrisponsible decision. You know if the He's beat the kid, starved her, were smoking crack, whatever, the situation would be different. But they wanted better for her then what they were able to give her at the time, so they willingly gave her up under the false understanding that this would be a temporary arrangement. There is a difference there. It's not like they wrapped the kid up in a blanked, dropped her off on somebody's doorstep, rang the door bell and ran.
I agree with you that when we have a child, we should be prepaired for the responsibility of raising and caring for the child. Unfortunately that is an ideal that reality doesn't always support. Sometimes parents are unable to care for their children and it is best for the child to go elsewhere. Then the parents get their lives together and become able to care for the children. The children should then go home. But when you have a foster parent who falls in love with the child, and decides they want to adopt the child, and blocks the reunification between the child and the real parents claiming that the child has bonded with them, the child doesn't know the parents, it's the only family the child has ever known, bla bla bla, the child ends up being screwed out of biological family members who also love the child. Foster parents do this all the time. In fact, many of them become foster parents because it is a path to adoption. Anna Mae, however, should have gone back with her parents a long time before she did.
Also they're not going to just uproot her. There is going to be a transition period, visitations, getting to know each other time, etc. Reunification is not an overnight process.
--- fed up asks: Why would you consider this person not to have any rights just because they didn't give birth to the child!
Foster parenting is a job. For standing in the way of reunification efforts between the parents and the child, the foster parent should loose their liscence and the option to adopt. That is unfair to the child and it's unfair to the family. The child is not up for grabs until the parents rights are terminated in court. The state couldn't build a strong enough case to do that, the only other option is reunification. Reunification, by law is the ultimate goal for all families, when that can't be achieved, other permanancy options can then be considered. This case was dragged out for a very long time, over a number of years because the foster parents wanted to adopt the child, and blocked the reunification efforts of the parents every possible way they could.
It's great that they loved the child, it's great that they took care of the child. That's what foster parents should do, but foster parents are simply doing a job. They are not supposed to stand in the way of the reunification of a family, the legal rights of the family, just so they can build their own. That's underminding the system.
And I would agree with you if the parents rights were terminated, and reunification was impossible. Then the foster parents should have rights in court. Then, the fact that the child has been living with them should give them priority in the adoption process. If reunification had ever been impossible, then the foster parents should be given the option to adopt. This case should have been resolved a long time ago. The child would have had a much easier transition. Time is what harms Anna Mae the most, that is the fault of the foster parents.
I can't blame the real parents one bit for fighting to get her back. Just the foster parents for making them have to.
Does anyone realize what you are doing to this child... I know first hand because the mom want her son back after 6 years and what she put these 2 children through was horrible. Leave the child where they belong and that is with the adoptive parents keep the child... The parents gave up their rights long time ago. How can you do this to children pass them around like a ping pong ball. You are hurting the child more than anyone...
Anna Mae He is a victim of our Judicial System and a victim of her irresponsible birth parents also. This child will forever endure severe emotional harm which has been administered by the hands of our Judicial System and her birth parents. Children are not merchandise which you can put on Layaway like merchandise in a retail store and if and when birth parent decides they want to pick up their merchandise they are allowed to do so with blessings from our Judicial System is WRONG, just because they gave birth or were the sperm donor does not make them a mother or father. They simply just want to be in control, have no heart and absolutely do not love the child. If you are a parent and raise your child, there when they are sick, change their diapers, feed, nurture and Love them then you are the parent, but if you don’t, then the person who has done all these things for a long period of time has become the psychological parent to the child, if the child is in a loving, secure environment then they need to leave the child alone. The He's put their selves first, Mr He wanted to go to school to benefit him and did not care about his child or her needs as to having a parent, and he was selfish and irresponsible and wanted what he could get for free. The Bakers took the child,loved her and raised her as their own for many years and then the Judicial System ripped out the heart of the child, the caregivers and removed her from the only home which she had ever known. Our Judicial System needs to wake up and see what is happening to our children, our future leaders and put a stop to Layaway Kids! Children should be protected, not the irresponsible parent, sperm donor or just plain selfish individuals such as the He’s. If you want your child then raise your child and do not give your child to someone else to raise, do not abandon, neglect or be irresponsible for your own wishes, gain or selfishness, if you do this then you are not the parent, the individual who has stepped up to the plate,bonded with the child as the psychologicle parent is the parent! Wake up America and realize there are 6.5 million children in the U.S. being raised by relatives and 157,000 in TN. which are known, does this not tell us something? Put a stop to Layaway Kids they don't deserve it, they are not merchandise! They have hearts, souls and feelings just as we adults do! What is this world coming to when animals have more rights than our precious, helpless, abused and neglected children!
ReplyDeleteThe emotional harm would not be nearly as severe had the parents rights to their child have been respected by the courts in the first place. She would have been with the foster parents for a short time. There are also cultural differences here and language barriers to consider. This case has been going on for a long time. The birth parents, trusting the system with an understanding that this would be just until they were able to care for the child, those involved got them to sign papers that they couldn't read and didn't understand because of language barriers. In other words, the system and the foster parents tried to screw them out of their daughter.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with you on the issues here.#1-If the He's had wanted their child they would not have put her in Foster Care to begin with,I have had bad times in my life but I would never give up my child just because the child needed insurance or because I wanted to go to school and ignore my responsabilities as a parent for selfish gain,or because I wanted all I could get for FREE, as the He's did.So what you are saying is if you want to go to school,take advantage of someone or something then you can be a irresponsible parent and give your child to someone else to raise,is that correct?As far as the cultural and Language differences as an excuse,which is all it is,was Mr He not going to school here?How did he go to school if he did not understand our language?Another Excuse!Are you in favor of Layaway Children for irresponsible,selfish,neglectful parents!As I have always said if you raise your child then you should be protected by the 14th Amendment ,but if you don't then the child's rights should be protected.
ReplyDeleteThe judge obviously felt differently. It's not only the child that has rights. The child has a right to be safe from abuse or neglect. If the parents are capable of providing a healthy and safe environment for their child, they should have the right to do so. I am a firm believer in that. Parents are being screwed left and right in this country, and the states are just in the very beginning stages of realization of the damage they have caused.
ReplyDeleteIt is also not uncommon for foster parents with an adoption agenda to try to thwart the reunification efforts of biological families, throwing in technicality's such as bonding, it's the only family the child knows, etc. In this case, the foster parents fought them all the way from the day they were ready to take their child back. If anything harmed the child, it was them and the system which kept her away from her real parents for so long when they were willing to care for her. Just dragging it out is harmful to the child, and should not go in favor of the foster parents.
And there was a communication error somewhere along the line in this case. I would never suggest that the He's did the right thing by giving her up, although they just did need a little time to get on their feet. Just that they weren't aware of what they were doing. Had they understood the consequences of what they were doing, signing, whatever, perhaps things would have come out differently. I don't know. I make no personal judgement against them in any way.
The problem is Children have no rights,animals are protected more than children.To what extent do you think a parent has the right to leave their children with a Grandparent,Aunt,Uncle,Cousin,Neighbor or etc.For several years with no support and sometimes no visits for months,they are in the party stage,irresponsible,selfish or just plain do not care,then when the child is 6,7,9,etc.or the parent needs a state check or housing so they come and take the child out of the only home he or she has ever known,tell me how that is fair to the child or caregiver and does that child have any rights to stay with the only person that the child knows who has Loved,Nurtured,Supported,was the only one there when he/or she was sick,when they were hungry the caregiver was the only one there to feed them,keep a roof over the childs head,keep them safe.Why would you consider this person not to have any rights just because they didn't give birth to the child!It seems to me if someone else had to do all the things a parent is supposed to do and the Bio parent did not ,then the person who stepped up to the plate should be recognized as having some rights in our Court Systems.I know their are parents out there who are truly getting shafted by CPS,the Judicial system,Etc.But there are also parents out there who are shafting themselves by only thinking of themselves and one day they decide they want to play mommie or daddy and don't care that years have past and the child does not want to leave their Loving,Secure home or their psychological parent,but just because they are the Bio parent they can do whatever they want because they gave birth is wrong!As I said if you raise your child then God Bless you ,but if you don't and someone else steps up to do all the parental duties for the child,then that person should have rights in our court systems.Anyone can give birth or be a sperm donor ,but not just anyone can be a real Daddy or Mommie.
ReplyDeletefed up said: The problem is Children have no rights,animals are protected more than children.
ReplyDeleteThat I agree with. The foster care system is in a sorry state. These kids are robbed of their real families. Most are bounced around from home to home, heavily medicated and are more likely to be abused in foster care then in their own homes.
I also don't think that it was a good idea for the parents to give her up. I think it was a bad idea. In this country there are other options, and help is available. Had the He's known that, they might have made a better decision. I don't think that they are bad for doing what they did, but it was an irrisponsible decision. You know if the He's beat the kid, starved her, were smoking crack, whatever, the situation would be different. But they wanted better for her then what they were able to give her at the time, so they willingly gave her up under the false understanding that this would be a temporary arrangement. There is a difference there. It's not like they wrapped the kid up in a blanked, dropped her off on somebody's doorstep, rang the door bell and ran.
I agree with you that when we have a child, we should be prepaired for the responsibility of raising and caring for the child. Unfortunately that is an ideal that reality doesn't always support. Sometimes parents are unable to care for their children and it is best for the child to go elsewhere. Then the parents get their lives together and become able to care for the children. The children should then go home. But when you have a foster parent who falls in love with the child, and decides they want to adopt the child, and blocks the reunification between the child and the real parents claiming that the child has bonded with them, the child doesn't know the parents, it's the only family the child has ever known, bla bla bla, the child ends up being screwed out of biological family members who also love the child. Foster parents do this all the time. In fact, many of them become foster parents because it is a path to adoption. Anna Mae, however, should have gone back with her parents a long time before she did.
Also they're not going to just uproot her. There is going to be a transition period, visitations, getting to know each other time, etc. Reunification is not an overnight process.
---
fed up asks: Why would you consider this person not to have any rights just because they didn't give birth to the child!
Foster parenting is a job. For standing in the way of reunification efforts between the parents and the child, the foster parent should loose their liscence and the option to adopt. That is unfair to the child and it's unfair to the family. The child is not up for grabs until the parents rights are terminated in court. The state couldn't build a strong enough case to do that, the only other option is reunification. Reunification, by law is the ultimate goal for all families, when that can't be achieved, other permanancy options can then be considered. This case was dragged out for a very long time, over a number of years because the foster parents wanted to adopt the child, and blocked the reunification efforts of the parents every possible way they could.
It's great that they loved the child, it's great that they took care of the child. That's what foster parents should do, but foster parents are simply doing a job. They are not supposed to stand in the way of the reunification of a family, the legal rights of the family, just so they can build their own. That's underminding the system.
And I would agree with you if the parents rights were terminated, and reunification was impossible. Then the foster parents should have rights in court. Then, the fact that the child has been living with them should give them priority in the adoption process. If reunification had ever been impossible, then the foster parents should be given the option to adopt. This case should have been resolved a long time ago. The child would have had a much easier transition. Time is what harms Anna Mae the most, that is the fault of the foster parents.
I can't blame the real parents one bit for fighting to get her back. Just the foster parents for making them have to.
Does anyone realize what you are doing to this child... I know first hand because the mom want her son back after 6 years and what she put these 2 children through was horrible. Leave the child where they belong and that is with the adoptive parents keep the child... The parents gave up their rights long time ago.
ReplyDeleteHow can you do this to children pass them around like a ping pong ball. You are hurting the child more than anyone...