Legally Kidnapped

Shattering Your Child Welfare Delusions Since 2007


Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Quote of the day...

From another foster parent blog.

Rollercoasters

"It would hurt and it is a known risk to have to give up a loved foster child back to reunify with their family."


To whoever this kids mother is. She wants your baby.

12 comments:

  1. Hmmm maybe instead one should be cold hearted and extend no love toward the foster child that already is hurting...That should produce better results for everyone I bet. Genius!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm maybe instead one should be cold hearted and extend no love toward the foster child that already is hurting...That should produce better results for everyone I bet. Genius!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. >> "It would hurt and it is a known risk to have to give up a loved foster child back to reunify with their family."

    You so miss the point of your own statement. "It is a known risk to have to give up a loved foster child back to reunify with their family"

    You should be more supportive of the family. Often times, that's what's ultimately best for the child.

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  4. And if you knew me personally you would see that I am... Some reunifications are impossible situations, you took a tid bit of a blog...the blog was about an unnecessary move to another NON family foster home and comparing it to a child going back to the bio parents.
    And yes I still stand by my statement that there is pain that is involved in reunifying a child back to their family,...if I was not supportive of working in a system like that I would definately go private adoption and bypass the foster...So please do not try to sum up someones motives when you do not even know the background.

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  5. But LK, if you read the post, the social worker is setting up a photo shoot b/c the parental rights are likely to be terminated. Therefore, DSS is preparing for her plan to change to adoption. The foster mom is not trying to keep her from her family.

    And it IS a known “risk.” Or however you want to word it. There is a risk of loving the child and getting attached. Should you not love a foster child as your own while you have them? And if you do, how would you not get attached? It's human to not want to see them go, especially if you have heard things that may have/may not have happened to them. Things that could have hurt them. Sure, it's a "he said/she said," but a foster parent that loves a child may also want to protect them from the "unknown" or the risk of them getting hurt.

    I thought your point with this blog was to point out how foster kids are getting shortchanged and are in unloving foster homes. I’m not getting it. I see a lot of love in the “Sillynelle” and the Popp family blogs. They get attached to the kids. The kids need to make attachments too, to have a healthy life.

    If foster parents weren’t there…where would the children go? When there aren’t foster parents or a relative able to take them, they go into shelters, group homes, residential treatment…etc. How is that better than a foster family? Is your point to get rid of foster parents? The system isn’t perfect, far from it, but there are children that DO need foster care. Social workers have to be there to investigate, to place the children and find and train families.
    I’ve worked with many children that have been abused—physically, emotionally, sexually as well as neglected. By their birth family. Yes, it does happen. It happens a lot. I want to help change things for these kids, to show them that adults do care, so I am doing something. To be cliché, I don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk.

    I don’t see the point in attacking loving foster families who are doing their best to love a child placed in their care. We can agree to disagree, but this is my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Usually I post links to news stories. Every now and then I post a link to a blog done by a foster parent or a child welfare worker. The news stories tell what happened or what is going to happen in a sensationalized and exaggerated way. The blogs tell us what you people are thinking at any given point in time.

    The quote, as stated, amounts to parent bashing. I found it quite offensive. "it is a known risk to have to give up a loved foster child back to reunify with their family."

    I really don't care about your pain. Your personal attachment to other peoples children is not my point although it is an issue that needs to be addressed as often times it amounts to an entitlement complex.

    Also, I apologize if I misinterpreted or twisted your words from their intended meaning, but caseworkers do that to real parents all the time. It's a common tactic used in child welfare. So not only is this learned behavior on my part, but it is totally in line with the rules of the game.

    ReplyDelete
  7. But LK, if you read the post, the social worker is setting up a photo shoot b/c the parental rights are likely to be terminated. Therefore, DSS is preparing for her plan to change to adoption. The foster mom is not trying to keep her from her family.

    And it IS a known “risk.” Or however you want to word it. There is a risk of loving the child and getting attached. Should you not love a foster child as your own while you have them? And if you do, how would you not get attached? It's human to not want to see them go, especially if you have heard things that may have/may not have happened to them. Things that could have hurt them. Sure, it's a "he said/she said," but a foster parent that loves a child may also want to protect them from the "unknown" or the risk of them getting hurt.

    I thought your point with this blog was to point out how foster kids are getting shortchanged and are in unloving foster homes. I’m not getting it. I see a lot of love in the “Sillynelle” and the Popp family blogs. They get attached to the kids. The kids need to make attachments too, to have a healthy life.

    If foster parents weren’t there…where would the children go? When there aren’t foster parents or a relative able to take them, they go into shelters, group homes, residential treatment…etc. How is that better than a foster family? Is your point to get rid of foster parents? The system isn’t perfect, far from it, but there are children that DO need foster care. Social workers have to be there to investigate, to place the children and find and train families.

    I’ve worked with many children that have been abused—physically, emotionally, sexually as well as neglected. By their birth family. Yes, it does happen. It happens a lot. I want to help change things for these kids, to show them that adults do care, so I am doing something. To be cliché, I don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk.

    I don’t see the point in attacking loving foster families who are doing their best to love a child placed in their care. We can agree to disagree, but this is my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Crayon

    >> the social worker is setting up a photo shoot b/c the parental rights are likely to be terminated. Therefore, DSS is preparing for her plan to change to adoption.

    Yes, they put these kids on display.

    >> And it IS a known “risk.”...

    Have you ever heard the term Parental Alienation?

    >> the rest...

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    Don't believe everything the nice social worker tells you.

    Nice blog by the way, I'll have to check it out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. [oops, didn't mean to post that twice. got an error the 1st time].

    So I'm going to hell now? greeaaaaat.

    Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. [James 1:27]

    I'm not trying to steal anyone's babies...I'm just trying to help. I've wanted to help foster kids since I was a child myself. I really don't think helping children will put me in hell, but, guess that's the risk *I* take!

    So what is your back story, anyway? I don't see it on your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  10. >> Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. [James 1:27]

    Crayon...

    Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
    Mark 10:9

    Do you know the difference between God and a Social Worker? God doesn't pretend to be a Social Worker and it certainly isn't God who delivers these children unto you. But workers do pretend to to be God.

    God gave me my path too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great Book to quote, but I never said social workers were God. Not even close. Social Workers are people. I also didn't say God delivers children to my doorstep. Actually, foster parents bring them to my doorstep, but that's beside the point.

    I could continue this conversation for years, but I see it isn't benefiting anyone, so I'll move on. It appears we can agree to disagree with each other on... a l l ...of this.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So what, am I supposed to see everything your way?

    ReplyDelete

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